


Hiking and Hypocrisy

by avaalons



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies), Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blind Date, F/M, Mutual Friends, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Storms, There’s Only One Bed!, They Don’t Get On, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-01-25 16:26:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12536068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avaalons/pseuds/avaalons
Summary: Mackie decides all Chris needs is a regular girl in his life and he thinks he knows just the lady...*COMPLETE*





	1. Chapter 1

This was born from a prompt given by the fabulous [@yourtropegirl](https://tmblr.co/mXaDHpHMy0K39hd6MSlaRig) over at Tumblr, based on Anthony Mackie’s 2015 assertion to E! that all Chris Evans needs is a normal girl in his life. And, as always, I got totally carried away with it. 

Hiking and Hypocrisy also features basically every trope known to man, including everyone’s favourite: there’s only one bed! Enjoy! 

***

_“Chris needs a regular girl. Chris needs a girl who is just down to earth, who’s smart and that’s hard to find,” Mackie revealed to E! News exclusively before playing golf at the 11th annual Irie Weekend benefiting the Irie Foundation. “Those girls are not celebrities. Those are not girls you know.”_

_Mackie continued, “Chris just needs a regular and down to earth smart girl…Somebody that can take care of him you know because he is Captain America.”_

***

‘Honey, you know I love you and I know you mean well, but she’s not going to thank you when she figures out what you’ve done and I’m telling you right now that this is a bad idea,’ Sheletta tried reasoning with her husband, who was currently scrolling through his contacts to find your number.

‘How can this be bad? They’re both single and haven’t I always said that Chris just needs a steady, regular girl? I don’t know why I haven’t thought about this before now,’ Anthony’s thumb hovered over your contact, ready to call. ‘Let’s just have them over for dinner. Just once. Please?’

Sheletta threw her hands up in surrender, ‘Okay, baby, but this is on your head and yours alone. Let it be known that at this very moment, I told you it was a bad idea. I know you think Chris needs a steady girl but wants and needs don’t always match up with that guy. If she ends up getting caught in some Hollywood crossfire and getting hurt, it’s your fault, got that?’

Her husband nodded, barely even listening to a word. 

‘Now I got to go get the kids from school but I’ll host on one condition: you tell her straight up what the deal is. That way she can back out if she wants to. Don’t send her in blind Anthony, for the love of God.’

‘Got it. I’ll tell her. See you in a little while honey,’ he finished as his wife walked out of the front door and he pressed ‘call’ under your name.

***

‘Hey stranger!’ You’d heard your phone ringing and a smile stretched across your face when you saw who it was. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘I think it’s about time we had you over for dinner. Sheletta misses you, the kids miss you and, to a lesser extent, I miss you too,’ you rolled your eyes in amusement at his comment, ‘so we need some catch up time. How’s next Friday for you?’

‘Yeah, I can do Friday. I’d love to come round and see Sheletta and the kids and, to a lesser extent, you. Any special occasion I should be aware of?’

‘No, nothing at all. Just a nice family dinner with friends.’

‘Okay, sounds great. See you around seven? I’ll bring dessert as usual.’

‘I’ll let Sheletta know. See you Friday!’

***

You’d finished work on Friday, making sure you had planned your lessons for the Monday and Tuesday and put your resources in for copying. You decided on taking your smallest class of work home to mark over the weekend and packed up your bags to head out.

You popped your head in at the door of your closest colleague’s classroom to wish them a good weekend.

‘Got any nice plans?’ Nina looked up from her pile of marking on her desk to smile at you, a wry nod towards the amount of bags you were taking home.

‘Just a tiny bit of marking this weekend, I swear! I’m going for dinner at a friends’ house tonight, I need to get home to bake dessert to take with me.’

‘Oooh, what kind of ‘friend’ are we talking here?’ She was instantly interested, marking pen paused in her hand.

‘No, nothing like that! It’s a couple that I’m friends with. They take pity on my single state every once in a while and invite me round for food so I don’t need to cook for myself on a Friday.’

‘Sweetie, you need to get out more,’ Nina shook her head, ‘I know we’re teachers but we are allowed our own lives, not just spend all our weekends marking and planning.’

‘Who are you trying to convince here, Neen, me or you? Because it’s five pm on a Friday and you’re the one still sat at your desk,’ you grinned.

‘That’s because I’m going out tomorrow. I plan to spend all tomorrow getting pampered and all of Sunday lying in my bed nursing a very bad tequila hangover. Leave the bag of marking here and come out with me and my friends tomorrow.’

‘I need to get these done though…’ you knew Nina could hear the weakness in your voice. A night out did sound incredible.

‘Come on, stop being coy. Go dump it in your room and I’ll text you the details. We need to find you a man, or get you under one at least.’

You’d already started walking back to your room but still heard her crude comments and told her so.

‘I heard that Nina!’ You called back.

‘You were supposed to, dumb ass!’

***

A couple of hours later, you were on the doorstep of the Mackie household, clutching your handbag, presents for the kids, a chocolate pecan pie in a ceramic pie dish and two bottles of wine, struggling to balance everything as you reached up for the doorbell when you heard a deep, melodic voice from behind you.

‘Here let me get that.’

An arm snaked past your head and a finger pushed the bell. You turned to look at who this mysterious stranger was, only to find a man you knew was Chris Evans. 

He smiled before reaching for the pie dish and taking it from your grip so you could hold the wine bottles properly. 

‘Wouldn’t want you to drop anything, especially something that looks this good,’ he told you, nodding towards the pie. 

All you could do was stare, unable to find your words. What the fuck was he doing here? You knew he and Mackie had become friends over their years working together, but he’d never visited the family home as far as you were aware. You’d always figured they were ‘bros’ at work, but that their friendship hadn’t really extended into having dinner with each other’s families. Apparently you were wrong. 

It was all you could do to blink and as you heard the door open behind you, you spun around to see Mackie’s smiling face.

‘So you two have already met, I see!’

And you instantly knew what was up. 

***

‘Letta! He’s totally blindsided me!’ You whisper-shouted at her in the kitchen as she poured you a large glass of wine. 

Mackie had taken Chris out to the back garden where he was planning on grilling dinner. You could see them through the window, laughing and drinking from beer bottles as the boys ran around playing soccer and you rolled your eyes, frustrated mainly at Mackie but also for some reason at Chris. Just his presence was annoying you, considering what Mackie had tried to set up. 

‘I know sweetie, I’m so sorry. I told him and told him this was a bad idea. I told him to tell you what the deal was when he called. Asshole.’

‘What can possibly have made him think that I’d be interested in Chris fucking Evans? Does Mackie know me at all? Do I look like the type that wants to spend an evening with a dumb jock? I’m a high school teacher for Christ’s sake, I deal with enough of them at school.’

Sheletta sighed, clearly sympathetic, but then she tried to placate you, ‘Look, it’s just dinner, right? I’m going to having a few words with my husband later but it’s just a couple of hours and you never need to see Chris again if you don’t want to. But I would say, he’s an okay dude, no worse than your average charming guy who likes sports and drinking with his buddies. I think Mackie was thinking some, you know, not famous company might be good for him.’

You evened your breathing and took a sip of your wine before resolving to make the best of a bad situation. 

‘Don’t worry Letta, I’ll play nice, for you. But don’t expect me to laugh at his stupid jokes or bat my eyelashes at him.’

Sheletta raised her glass to yours in a cheers, ‘I would never expect you to.’

***

‘So what is it that you do?’ Chris asked from your right hand side. Of course Anthony had manoeuvred the seating so you were sat side by side at the outdoor dining table.

Granted, it hadn’t been too awful so far. The kids had kept you entertained for the most part and Mackie and Sheletta were clearly working hard to keep the conversation flowing and prevent any awkwardness. But there had been a lull in the conversation as Mackie helped Letta take the dishes inside from the main course and fetch more beers, and the boys had run off to play with the toys you had brought them. You’d tried to get up and help Sheletta but Mackie insisted you stay exactly where you were so you slumped back in your seat reluctantly, realising you were about you be left on your own with Chris and that was exactly what Mackie wanted, of course. 

You reached for your glass and settled in for some mundane and predictable conversation.

‘I’m a high school history teacher,’ you told him.

‘Brave lady,’ he grinned. ‘My mom teaches theatre groups but it tends to only be younger ones and they-‘

‘-choose to be there? Yeah, not so lucky with high school. I got to drag them all through, one way or another. They’re not bad though, it’s less of a battle than you’d think, mostly.’ 

‘I bet you run on sarcasm though, right?’

‘Me?! What would ever give you such an idea?’ You purposefully over-egged it for comedy effect. 

‘There it is. A teenager’s best friend.’

You raised an eyebrow at him, ‘Know a lot of teenagers, do you?’

‘No, but I was one, once.’

‘And I bet you still are in your head, right?’

He inclined his head in acknowledgement, ‘Sometimes. Probably more than I’m willing to admit. But being grown up one hundred per cent of the time isn’t much fun, is it? Besides, my niece and nephews would never forgive me if I tried to be too mature all the time.’

Family man? You hadn’t expected that.

‘How many do you have?’

‘Three, two nephews, one niece. All siblings. My sister Carly’s kids.’

You worked out the implication in his words, ‘So I guess you have more than one sibling then?’

‘Yeah, two sisters, one brother. Carly, Shanna and Scott. Shanna, Scott and I all remain childless so far though, leaving the favourite child title to Carly. My mom loves being a grandma.’

You saw your opening to tease him. May as well have some fun while you were here, right? 

‘Oh, so the hunt for a baby mama is on, is it? Try and get back in the good books?’

He laughed at that: at your openness or shamelessness, you didn’t know. You waited to see if he would bring up the obvious set up arrangement of the evening, but he didn’t. 

‘Nah, I’m her oldest boy, I can do no wrong,’ he smiled around his bottle as he took a mouthful. ‘How about you? Big family?’

‘Not really. My parents live on the other side of the country. I don’t really see them that often but we check in from time to time. My brother is high up in a law firm in Chicago. Divorce law. I see him even less,’ you had to stop yourself rolling your eyes. You and your brother couldn’t be more different if one of you had been adopted. 

‘Not a big family girl then?’ 

You thought for a moment. Was Chris trying to scope you out? You felt immediately on the defensive, affronted that he found it so easy to pass judgement against you. You almost told him he didn’t need to bother, that you had zero intention of ever seeing him again after tonight, but you remembered your promise to Sheletta.

‘It’s not that. I guess my family aren’t ‘big family’ people. That’s why I live out here I think. I made my own family out of friends. I’m basically a fake auntie to the Mackie kids, for example. There’s plenty of people I consider to be as close to me as family.’

You looked at him to see what his reaction was but he just smiled at you, not giving much away, and then there was a lot of hustle and bustle as the Mackies returned to the table. Anthony was weighed down with beer bottles and wine and Sheletta carried your pecan pie dessert and a jug of cream. 

‘Sweetheart, this looks delicious,’ Sheletta told you as she placed the dish in the middle of the table. ‘Boys! Come and get dessert!’

‘You should serve it up, it being of your own creation and all,’ Anthony addressed you, handing you a cake knife.

‘Okay, but I’m warning you, no little slices around here. Go big or go home,’ you said jokingly but you subtly glanced at Chris as you began serving extra generous helpings of pie, expecting him to make some gym-related excuse as to why he couldn’t possibly enjoy a slice of dessert, but he didn’t. He took the plate you offered him with polite thanks and moaned his appreciation when he ate a huge spoonful. 

‘This is incredible! Wasted as a teacher, clearly!’

There he went again, making assumptions about you and your life. And you resented that he talked down your career so easily. Who did he think he was to make a comment like that? He had no idea about anything to do with you, so why did he keep on insisting that he did? It would have been so easy to have made a ruthlessly sarcastic comment back, but you kept your mouth shut and your eyes trained on your dessert.

Whether Mackie and Sheletta noticed your discomfort or not, you weren’t sure, but they kept the conversation going between them and aside from the few comments that made you bristle, the evening wasn’t a total disaster you supposed. You felt exhausted though, probably from being so on edge all evening, the large elephant in the room (or patio, as was the case) shaped like a blind date weighing you down. You always had hated feeling the expectation that came with dates, like you were supposed to just switch on this charming, flirtatious version of yourself. You hated that it seemed to always be down to the woman to make the man feel at ease, feel attractive, feel funny, even if she didn’t really like him. You… well you wanted someone to feel like they needed to work a little harder to get your attention. Why should it be all on you?

The conversation circled around to weekend plans and you were asked if you were going hiking this weekend. The boys instantly tuned into the conversation and you got a chorus of ‘when we can go with you again?’ 

You smiled at them indulgently. You loved that they enjoyed the outdoors as much as you did, and you loved introducing them to all the skills they needed to hike safely for a whole day or even a weekend. You hadn’t done a camping hike with them yet, but you had done a full day, teaching them how to make the most of their food and how to make water drinkable if they ran out. 

‘Not this weekend boys, I have somewhere to be tomorrow night. Next weekend maybe? Do you want to do all day Saturday?’

You looked to Mackie and Sheletta to check that would be all right with them and Sheletta began to nod slowly, obviously checking her calendar mentally, ensuring they had nowhere to be. 

‘Wait, you hike?’ you heard Chris’ surprised voice next to you. 

‘Yeah, it’s quite a normal hobby, you know, for _regular_ people,’ you kept it light so it didn’t appear too cutting but this man was working your last nerve. 

‘I just meant… I’ve always loved the outdoors and loved the idea of getting into hiking but I wouldn’t know where to start on my own and I’ve never known anyone that was into it.’

Before you could tell him that the Internet was a wonderful invention if he ever wanted to do some research, Mackie interjected.

‘Hey, I’ve got an idea, why don’t we all go next Saturday?’

There was a millisecond of silence before everyone launched in at once. Sheletta glanced at you awkwardly before saying ‘Babe…’ to her husband in her most quiet warning voice, the boys yelled out their excitement, Chris was at your side declaring that he was, in fact, free next weekend, Mackie was grinning around the table, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with such a wonderful idea and you could hear the beginnings of excuses desperately tumbling from your lips but it was no good. You’d basically walked yourself into this one by telling the boys you’d take them next weekend.

Sheletta tried and you loved her for it, ‘Anthony, she’s an expert, she doesn’t want to be stuck with three kids and three adults who are hiking amateurs. That’s hardly a good use of her weekend when she’s so busy the rest of the time with work.’

But Mackie waved her off, clearly too wrapped up in his own matchmaking attempts to pick up on the edge in Sheletta’s voice. 

‘She doesn’t mind, do you?’ He stated, rather than asked, looking to you, ‘The boys go with her all the time and it’s only a one day hike. We won’t take up her whole weekend. It will be fun, all of us together. You’re up for it Chris, right?’

‘Yeah, course, count me in. Just tell me what I need.’

‘Take Chris’ number so you can text him the details,’ Mackie was on fire now. You subtly rolled your eyes at his transparent attempts to keep this thing going when you knew full well it was a pointless activity. 

‘I’m sure Chris doesn’t want to give his number out to just anyone, Mackie. Can’t you just forward the details if I send them to you?’

‘That seems unnecessarily complicated. Just take it off him, he doesn’t mind.’

You sighed quietly, thinking that Mackie seemed to know an awful lot about what people did and didn’t mind tonight, but dutifully took out your phone to take Chris’ number. 

‘Do I need to put you in under a pseudonym?’ You asked him teasingly as you tapped out his digits. 

‘Depends, how likely are you to have your phone hacked?’ He joked back.

‘Hmm, low to zero, I would say, given my ‘nobody’ status.’

‘Then ‘Dumb Jock’ should work just fine. Unless you feel like you deal with enough of them already?’

You looked up sharply and he was grinning, knowing he’d caught you out earlier. How had he heard you say that? You and Letta had been in the kitchen and he’d been outside, hadn’t he?

‘I think I’ll just settle for Chris E,’ you looked back down quickly when your face flushed, not wanting him to see your embarrassment. You made to put your phone away when he stopped you with a hand on your arm. 

‘Will you give me a callback, so I’ve got your number and I know who it is when you text?’ 

You looked down at his hand where it was making contact with you and you fought the urge to shake him off. Hollywood types were always so touchy-feely all the time. 

When you answered, you knew you were being purposefully difficult and frosty but this was a guy who must have been so used to getting what he wanted, you just didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. 

‘You’ll know it’s me when you get a big list of all the kit you need to get hold of by next Saturday.’


	2. Chapter 2

‘Oh god, it was awful. I can’t believe he actually heard me say that!’

But Nina and the girls just laughed as you told her about Chris overhearing your less than complimentary assessment of him. You were sat in a booth in a bar downtown, regaling the group with tales from the previous night. You’d kept his identity a secret, of course, just glossing over with a ‘his name was Chris and he works in movies doing something or other.’ It wasn’t exactly a lie and it was a readily accepted statement: this was LA, practically everyone worked in the movies to some degree. 

‘Well, that will teach you not to be such a hypocrite,’ Nina told you with a knowing look and a smile.

‘What?’ Your back straightened.

‘Well, I’m just saying, it seems like you were ready to bite his head off every time he passed a judgement about you but there you were, calling him out for being a dumb jock when all he’d done was help you with the stuff you were carrying and told you your pie looked nice.’

Of course, you couldn’t explain that this was different, that you already knew who Chris was because he was Captain fucking America. So you were well within your rights to pass judgement against him, right? 

‘Well… I could just tell…’

The group roared with laughter.

‘Leave it hon,’ Nina said through her giggles as she placed a hand on your shoulder, ‘Just accept that you are as judgemental and as hypocritical as the rest of us.’

‘I think we’re going to need more sambuca,’ you declared, wanting to change the topic of conversation as quickly as possible. Thankfully that earned a chorus of acceptance from the table and you looked around for a waiter you could summon over to take your order. You liked coming to this part of the city, where the bars were expensive, yes, but had decent table service and nothing was sticky. 

It was hard to see anyone out of the circular booth you were sat in so you stood up and scanned the room, catching the attention of a waiter and sitting back down while you waited for him to arrive.

You ordered a round of shots and long drinks and the conversation continued, some of the other girls moving on to their own embarrassing dating tales. 

Feeling the need to head to the bathroom, you shuffled out of the booth, grabbing your clutch bag and strutted past the bar in the direction of the ladies. You were so focused on watching where you were going on your heels, you had no idea where the voice that spoke to you in the next moment came from until you turned around. 

‘Well, well, well, turns out she does know how to let loose.’

And there was Chris’ smug grinning face in front of you, body leaning against the bar casually, comfortably. You were considerably more tipsy than you had been the previous night and you needed to be careful or you’d wind up saying something you’d later regret. You needed to remember this was Mackie’s friend. Composing yourself, you gave yourself a second to settle on a suitable answer.

‘Believe it or not, you didn’t find out everything there is to know about me after one evening in the company of mutual friends,’ you raised an eyebrow in challenge.

He cocked his head to one side, gazing at you in thought, and it made you feel a little on display, a little vulnerable. Your hand reached down to where the hem of your dress hugged your thigh and tugged it down a little even though you knew it hadn’t been riding up. 

‘You know, for someone who so desperately wants to have nothing assumed about them, you’re very good at dishing out the judgements.’ 

Your mouth gaped a little in shock. It was okay for friends to deal out truth bombs like that but he was barely even an acquaintance. All of a sudden, you completely forgot he was Mackie’s friend, you forgot you were supposed to be playing nice and not embarrassing Sheletta and you forgot that you were supposed to keep your mouth zipped.

You stepped forward a little, squaring your shoulders and narrowing your eyes. 

‘Really? Well, let me dish some more out to you now. I’m guessing a high school drop out after a few small acting roles made your head swell, mommy and daddy funded your early years while you ‘looked for roles’ but mainly got high with your buddies and slept your way around whatever city it was that you decided to grace with your presence. Then you realised you were probably too skinny for all the meathead roles, and as they were the only ones you were ever going to get due to a lack of basic human intelligence, decided to hit up the gym. Cue week after week of admiring your biceps in mirrors and eating steroids for breakfast and now fast forward a few decades, and here you are,’ you gestured up and down his body with outstretched palms, ‘Got some dollars in your pocket and you’ve become a household name but for nothing of any actual intelligent or cultural merit, and will probably never be taken seriously enough as an actor to be considered for anything valuable, so you’ll be stuck as you are, waiting for the middle age spread to set in while you announce at the Oscars every year without ever actually being nominated for anything.’

He was quiet, eyes steady on yours as he let you finish your tirade, and you thought you’d won. He had nothing. You were right. You’d hit so close to the mark, he couldn’t even drum up a smart ass comment to throw back at you. You were about to cross your arms and smirk in triumph, having finally come up against one of the egotistical, spoilt, misogynistic actors in this town and succeeded, when he threw his head back and laughed.

Laughed. Like, ringing-out, shoulder-shaking, eyes-dancing belly laugh. Like he found you absolutely hilarious.

You were stunned, frozen to the spot. He didn’t even shift his position, he was still leaning against the bar like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

‘Not bad. Some of that was actually quite accurate. But tell me, is it all actors you have a problem with, or just a select few? Because I noticed you don’t have this abrasive attitude towards Mackie, so maybe it’s just me that gets under your skin,’ he raised an eyebrow, leaned into your space a little, still with that infuriating cock-sure smirk on his mouth.

You, on the other hand, were equal measures of exasperated and indignant.

‘You do not get under my… do you know what? Mackie is my friend, they’re practically family to me, and it’s because they still maintain some semblance of normality in their life, they don’t think they’re anything special just because Mackie’s on the big screen. That family have dignity and grace and gratitude,’ you did cross your arms across your torso this time, ready for your big finale, your closing words coming out hard and quick, ‘But I do excuse some mistakes of Mackie’s from time to time, his most recent one being the insane idea that I would ever be interested in someone like you.’

With that you turned on your heel and stomped to the bathroom, remembering to breathe to try and quell the rage thrashing around in waves in your chest. You shoved yourself against the door to the bathroom without so much as a glance back and as it swung shut behind you, you were free to shake off the tension in your back and shoulders. 

You leaned against the counter, slowly looking up to observe your reflection and what you saw surprised you. Your face was flushed, eyes bright and shining. You looked wired. Telling yourself it was just the adrenalin of going toe to toe with a man you barely knew in a public place, you shook your head and slipped into a cubicle, locking the door behind you. 

You were still inside when you heard the door open and a gaggle of excited voices filled the small room.

‘Oh. My. God. Chris Evans is here, can you believe it?! He’s even hotter in real life.’

‘Babe, he was so interested in you. Did you see the look he was giving her?’

‘I don’t know, I felt like I got a vibe from him,’ a third girl interjected and the change in atmosphere was palpable. There was awkward silence for a moment and you decided this was the time to make your presence known. 

You left the cubicle and went straight for the sink, washing your hands, subtly checking the girls out in the mirror. They were fluffing their hair, reapplying lipstick, spritzing perfume. None of them looked older than twenty two. You wondered idly which of them, if any, was Chris’ type. All of them at the same time, probably, you answered your own question ungenerously. If any had noticed your presence, none of them acknowledged it.

‘Well,’ the first girl broke the silence, readjusting her boobs in her bra, ‘Let’s go find out, shall we?’

She was the first to stalk out, the other two falling in line behind her, and you hung back in the bathroom for a few more minutes, taking time to dry your hands and run a brush through your hair. You took your time, sweeping a fresh coat of sheer pink gloss over your lips, dusting a little powder over your nose and cheeks, trying to blend your flushed skin out, but mostly just wasting minutes. Seeing Chris work his charms on those girls would just confirm everything you already knew about him and the temperature of your blood had only just returned to something approaching normal so you decided it was best for everyone to just stay where you were. 

When the door opened again, it was Nina with a searching look on her face.

‘Hey lovely, you good? You’ve been gone a while,’ she peered into your face, a hand on your shoulder, and you thought she might have picked up on your odd expression.

‘Yeah, yeah, all fine,’ you plastered a smile on your face, ‘Just feeling a little light headed but okay now I’ve taken a breather.’

‘Okay…’ Nina didn’t sound convinced but you continued packing your things back into your bag.

You glanced up at her in the mirror quickly and saw her gaze was trained on your face.

‘This wouldn’t have anything to do with that guy that stormed out of here after a heated conversation with you, would it?’

Damn her and her teacher’s skills of observation. Based on her question, however, you felt fairly confident she hadn’t seen exactly who ‘that guy’ was, so you could breathe a little.

‘You saw that?’ 

Nina nodded, ‘But only because I was looking out for you. I don’t think any of the other girls noticed. Anything I need to worry about?’

You shook your head, ‘No, no, course not. It was just… an acquaintance, that’s all.’ 

‘Okay…,’ there she went with that unconvinced voice again, ‘I will say that hot as he was, if he’s a bad guy or makes you upset, no amount of hot is worth it.’

You were quick to contradict her, so quick that you barely noticed that you inadvertently jumped to Chris’ defence. 

‘It’s not like… he’s not a bad guy or anything. We just don’t… get on very well.’

Nina looked at you steadily and you sensed there was more she wanted to say but was holding back. 

‘You ready to go back out then?’ 

‘Yeah,’ you picked up your clutch, ‘Did you say he’d left?’

‘Yeah, pretty much straight after you went to the bathroom. Some girls tried to talk to him at the bar but they toddled off and he left.’

Oh. Those girls weren’t going to get their shot after all. At least you could relax out there now.

‘Okay, let’s go then. I have a sambuca with my name on it I think,’ you smiled brightly and headed for the door. 

***

You woke up the next day with a pounding headache and a shed load of regret. Flinging your sheets over your head, you wished and wished the whole debacle away. Why couldn’t you just keep your big mouth shut? 

Chris was bound to tell Mackie about the thorough tongue-lashing he’d had from you and the family would know exactly just how little self control you actually had. You’d embarrassed Mackie and Sheletta with your behaviour, you were sure. 

You groped around for your phone and saw it was two in the afternoon. Did you ring the Mackie’s and make a pre-emptive apology, or just leave it and hope they never mentioned it to you? 

You hovered over Sheletta’s number and pushed it with a deep breath. 

‘Hey sweetie!’

‘Hey Letta, I just wanted to call and say thank you for having me over on Friday.’

‘Oh you don’t need to thank me honey, you know you’re more than welcome here any time.’

Okay, so far, so good. You weren’t being cast out by her at least.

‘I’m just sorry you had to deal with Anthony’s scheming. I had some serious words with him but please know he meant well.’

‘I know, I know, don’t worry about it, honestly,’ you felt uncomfortable hearing her apologies after the show down you cooked up last night.

‘Buuuutttt, I hear it didn’t end so badly after all, right? How are you feeling this morning?’ You could hear Sheletta’s knowing grin down the phone line.

‘What… what do you mean?’ Oh god, Chris had said something. 

‘Oh, don’t play dumb. Chris spoke to Mackie earlier, said he’d seen you out last night. Feeling a little less frosty towards him now, I guess?’

‘I… uh…’ What had he said?

‘I told you he was all right, didn’t I? I’m glad you two managed to have a more civil meeting in public after being thrown together by my dumb husband anyway.’

What?! Civil? 

‘Oh… yeah, yeah it was fine.’ You were dumbfounded. Why would Chris lie for you like that? You thought he’d be throwing you under the bus the first chance he got after speaking your mind so bluntly to him. 

‘Good. So we’re all okay for the hiking next weekend then?’

‘Yeah, course. Looking forward to it.’

‘Okay sweetie, we’ll see you next weekend!’

You said your goodbyes and hung up, tapping your phone against your lips in thought. What was going on here?

Unfortunately, your hangover didn’t leave enough energy to give it a serious mulling over. You needed greasy food, water, painkillers, lots more sleep and some time to mentally prepare for going back to work tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Monday was struggle, Tuesday got a little easier and by Wednesday you were back in the full swing of being a high school teacher. Days were non-stop at school: there was always something happening or something that needed your attention so you didn’t have too much time to think about a certain weekend event cropping up on the horizon. 

The kids made you forget all of the frustrations of the weekend too. You really did love your job. Yeah, it was hard work and long hours, and like any humans, teenagers had their bad days, but you did your best to understand that and not be the hard ass, unapproachable teacher everyone outside of teaching assumed you must be. A lot of kids just needed attention, especially if they didn’t get much at home. 

So, when one of your students hung back at the end of class on Friday after everyone else had filtered out, your caregiver-sense kicked in and you knew something was wrong. This was one of your best and brightest sophomores, a great young lady with her head screwed on right, and you had a definite soft spot for her. She was confident, sure of herself, wasn’t swayed by the popular crowd but seemed to get on with all her peers. 

‘Are you waiting for me, Amber? Everything okay?’ 

‘Yeah, I just…’ she trailed off, obviously unsure where to start. Now you were looking at her, she seemed pale, dark circles under her eyes, and was missing the usual positive spark she carried with her. 

‘Is it school or…?’ You gently tried a couple of questions to get this girl, who clearly had something she wanted to get off her chest. ‘Do you want to sit down?’ 

She did sit and you rolled your chair around the other side of your desk so it was less formal. 

‘School’s fine. It’s not school. Look, can you promise not to tell anyone?’

‘Amber… if it’s something that I feel means you are in danger, I have to pass on my concerns, and you need to know that,’ you always had to be straight to the point with students. Safeguarding the welfare of the students you teach was part of your job.

She shook her head, ‘I’m not in danger. I… uh… you know I have a boyfriend, right?’

You have one slow nod and a small smile to reassure her, ‘I don’t make a habit of getting involved in my students’ love lives but I was aware, yes. He’s a senior, yes?’

‘Yeah. Well, we…,’ she looked down at her hands, picking at her nails and you had a fairly good idea what was coming, ‘…we… you know, did it for the first time last weekend and now I… I don’t know…’

Your ‘safety-first’ instincts kicked in and you had to make sure a few things were okay before you could tackle the emotional side. 

‘Okay, well, I just need answers to a couple of questions before we talk more. So, was it consensual? Did you both want to have sex?’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Amber looked up then, the ice broken now the word ‘sex’ was out in the open. ‘Totally.’

‘Okay, and there wasn’t any pressure or anything?’ 

‘No, I’d kind of decided a long time ago I think and this weekend… well an opportunity just presented itself.’ 

You breathed a sigh of relief mentally, knowing that any more sinister possibilities were not on the table here. 

‘And you were safe? Birth control pill? Condom?’

‘Both,’ Amber gave a definitive nod. Second sigh of relief. Mentally, of course. It was important to remain neutral in front of students who were disclosing. But in your head: smart girl. 

‘All right, so now we’ve got those things out of the way, what did you particularly want to talk about?’

‘I don’t have anyone to talk to it about. I absolutely cannot go to my parents, and I don’t really want anyone at school to know, but I feel like… I don’t know. I’ve just gone from being… me… to being someone that has… sex. Like I’m just supposed to have sex now? All the time? Will I never see my boyfriend again without having sex with him?’

She was starting to talk faster and you felt the need to calm her down.

‘Hey, Amber, breathe. The easy answer to those questions is that you only have sex when you want to have sex. If you never want to have sex again, you don’t have to. There shouldn’t be any expectation there, and if you are ever feeling pressured into it then know that the problem isn’t you and head in the opposite direction.’

‘I know that, I do. I’m smart enough to look after myself and I thought I was ready for that step and now… I just feel so different. Like my identity has changed.’

You could see tears filling up in her eyes and you could tell this had been weighing on her.

‘Amber, you’re still you. You’re still a smart girl. Having sex doesn’t make you less smart, I promise,’ she let out a little laugh at that, ‘And feeling like this doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision or you weren’t ready. Feeling like this is totally normal. Do you feel like you regret it?’

Amber thought for a moment, considering your question. 

‘No, I don’t think so. I guess I feel like… like I should regret it.’ 

You nodded. Jesus, navigating dating and sex was hard enough for teenagers, never mind the whole taboo nature of it, especially for girls. Amber’s biggest problem was not that anything was actually wrong, but that she felt some weird guilt for… there not being anything wrong?

‘If you don’t regret it, you don’t. You don’t have to. In fact, it’s preferable that you don’t! Don’t feel like you should. You’ve made sure it was right for you, and that’s the most important thing. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?’

She shook her head, ‘I didn’t… want him to think I did regret it or to make a big deal out of it.’

‘Was it his first time too?

She nodded.

‘Then it’s likely he’s feeling the same way, so seeing as you two seem to have been trying to make pretty sensible decisions about most things up to now, I think you should try talking to him about it, don’t you.’

She nodded again, with a smile this time, ‘Thanks. A lot. I didn’t… I didn’t know who to talk to.’

‘Well, you did the right thing by finding someone. Any time you have questions, I’ll be right here, okay?’

‘Thanks. Again. Will you have to report this?’

‘Only to the school counsellor, but I promise no one will ask questions unless you want them to. I’ll continue to be your ‘trusted’ member of staff if you like?’ You put air quotes around trusted, just so it didn’t seem all so formal and like a big deal. 

Amber collected her bag from the floor, ‘Yeah, I’d prefer that.’

‘Okay, I’ll set that up. Is there anything else you needed?

‘No, I feel so much better just having got all of that off my chest.’

‘Okay Amber, I’ll see you Monday,’ you called after her as she left through your classroom door. 

***

Nina popped her head in at the end of the day, ‘Everything okay today?’

‘Yeah, just had a monster of a day and a student needing some advice.’

‘Like counsellor-report worthy?’ Nina asked, referring to the forms you needed to fill in if a student made a disclosure. 

‘Yeah. It’s done though, didn’t take long.’

Nina made a noise of acknowledgement and then moved on to other small talk, ‘Doing anything exciting this weekend?’

‘Uhhh, not much, just hi- oh shit!’

‘What?!’

‘I’m hiking tomorrow with some friends and their kids and I totally forgot about it until now.’ 

What you really meant was you’d forgotten to tell Chris what he needed to get hold of for it, or tell him where he needed to go for the hike.

‘Day hike or camping out?’ Nina asked as you fish out your phone from your handbag. 

‘Just the day. The kids could probably cope with camping now but the adults… not so much. You doing anything good?’

You opened up a new message and began tapping away at a list and a location before selecting ‘Chris E’ and pressing send and dropping the device back in your bag.

‘No, just having a relaxed one this weekend, especially after the mess of the last one.’

‘Oh god, agreed. Fresh air is definitely what I need this weekend!’ You didn’t mention the part about having to see Chris again after your show down last Saturday. 

‘Well, have a good one and I’ll see you Monday.’

‘You too, see you Monday,’ you called after Nina as she left. 

All that was left was for you to pack your things up and head home, contemplating just how awkward it was going to be tomorrow. 

***

You spent your evening packing your bag and preparing a lunch and snacks for the next day. You took a bath and tried to force yourself into a state of calm and rationalise the situation. Yeah, it would be awkward, but nothing really bad would happen. It wasn’t life or death, after all, and you’d have Mackie and Sheletta and the boys there to be buffers, unknowingly of course. 

It was only as you were getting ready for bed that you retrieved your phone to put it on charge and remembered that you’d messaged Chris earlier. He hadn’t replied. Maybe you wouldn’t even see him tomorrow after all. He won’t have had time to get his kit together. You thought nothing of it and settled down to get a good night’s sleep, needing lots of energy for tomorrow’s activities. 

But sleep didn’t come easily and you started checking the weather for the next day for the millionth time, praying that heavy rain would stop the plans going ahead, but no, wall to wall sunshine. And eventually, inevitably, you found yourself typing ‘Chris Evans’ into Google. 

***

When your alarm went off the next morning, you were groggy, on your back with your phone on your chest. You must have fallen asleep during your Googling session. You’d had weird dreams that flowed into one another, sometimes featuring Chris but he was always kind of watery and just out of reach, but you knew he was always laughing at you, then other times about Amber, but it wasn’t actually her - your subconscious knew it was but she had someone else’s face. Her comments about losing her identity had irked you a little you thought, now that you’d mulled it over in your dreams. Was she right in some way? Did your identity change? Did that decision making process of who you chose to sleep with cause some shift in your character? Amber was just a young woman, at the very beginning of her life, had sex once, and even she had those fears. It lead you to uncomfortable memories from the past that you’d long since buried.

You shook it off, determined to put those strange thoughts from your mind, and set about methodically preparing for your day, remembering that you were the most experienced hiker in a group of adults and children, so both their safety and their enjoyment mainly lay with you.

Certain you had everything you needed, you set off in your car for the meeting point and the start of the trail. The day was gorgeous: blue skies, just a couple of non-threatening fluffy clouds hanging delicately in the air, and the sun was warm but not sweltering. There was a slight, freshening breeze and conditions were perfect. You’d checked the weather again before you left, just to make sure there hadn’t been any changes and had decided that today would actually be fun. It would be what you made it, right? So if you were having fun, there would be no room for irritation or exasperation.

It was a good hour’s drive to the start of the trail. There were closer trails but this one was the best for a day hike. It was a good eight hours and had fairly well maintained paths, so was suitable for first timers and the kids, plus it had lots of impressive scenery and, your favourite part, some of the way was down the side of a gorge with the most beautiful river flowing through. You’d been coming here for a long time, and despite a break of about three years where you didn’t dare touch your feet to the ground here, you did eventually come back, like a bird returning to its nest, and you felt like you could breathe again.

You pulled into the small gravel parking spot that had been fashioned to avoid the hikers having to park on the road and saw that the Mackies’ car wasn’t here yet, just a couple of other cars with a few people gathered around them, loading up for their own hikes. Having chosen a space and put the car in park, you hunted out your phone to see if you’d heard from Mackie or Sheletta and what you saw there made your heart plummet.

Sheletta: Hey honey, I know you’ll be driving so I didn’t want to call but the boys have come down with the worst stomach flu and we won’t be able to make it to the hike today. They’re disappointed but they’ve just got no energy and I’m worried they’d get dehydrated. I know this won’t stop you going though so enjoy yourself without us holding you back! See you soon beautiful xxx

The initial sting of disappointment ebbed away as you realised Letta was right: you did this by yourself all the time anyway. But the second you’d finished reading, there was a tap at your window and you snapped your head towards of the source of the noise, and what you saw there just made your heart plummet all over again.

Chris. In stupid sunglasses and a stupid cap (Guns n Roses? Really?). Of course. Of course he would still be here.

You wound the window down somewhat reluctantly but still feeling a little guilty for the scene you’d made last weekend.

‘I take it you’ve got Sheletta’s message?’ was the first thing he said. Not so much as a hello. But you weren’t really at the ‘small talk’ stage in your acquaintance, you supposed. 

‘Yep, just now. Stomach flu.’

Chris nodded, ‘Weird. They seemed fine yesterday.’

He saw them yesterday?

‘I suppose it’s just one of those sudden things. Or a twenty four hour bug. Or a bout of food poisoning.’

Chris’ brow furrowed at the last suggestion, ‘Oh god, I hope not. I took them out for dinner last night.’

He what now? What was he doing taking the Mackie boys out for dinner on a Friday? And, more to the point, did their parents really think he was suitable company for their kids?

‘Nothing to be done about it now. Annoying for you that you drove all this way though. Guess you’re not short of things to do on a Saturday though, right?’ You brushed him off, ready for him to get out of here so you could begin your day.

‘Are you going home too?’ His head cocked to one side in that annoying way he liked, it felt like he was weighing you up every time he did it.

‘And waste this beautiful day? No way. I’m ready for a hike so I’ll do it.’

‘I was hoping you’d say that,’ he grinned, ‘I’m coming with you.’

And before you could respond, he’d disappeared from your window. You scrabbled to unbuckle yourself from the seatbelt and almost fell out of the car in your hurry. Looking around for him, you spotted him over the other side of the parking lot, just about to open his trunk. You broke out into a run just as he opened it and a beautiful red and white dog emerged from within. Chris caught his lead as he hopped down into the gravel. The sight of you running caught Chris’ eye and he turned towards you.

‘I brought my dog, you see, and you wouldn’t want to let him down now, would you? Meet Dodger,’ he gestured towards him, knowing he’d played his cards right. 

You knelt down instantly, unable to resist such a happy canine, and he launched himself at you, overjoyed to have a new friend to say hello to. You ruffled the fur around his face, and tickled him under his chin, laughing when he stilled and stretched his neck up to get the most out of it. 

‘He’s gorgeous. You had him from a pup?’ You asked, genuinely interested.

‘No, he’s a rescue. I couldn’t resist him.’

Chris Evans adopts rescue dogs, apparently. Today was just full of surprises.

‘He’s got a lovely nature for a rescue,’ you conceded, because he did and you knew that wasn’t always the case with rescues.

‘Well, it took some work at the beginning, and he was a little shy and timid, and basically shook for a week, but you’d never know it now,’ Chris explained.

‘No… definitely not,’ you didn’t look up at him, transfixed as you were on the dog.

Eventually though, you remembered where you were and who you were with and stood up.

‘Look Chris, I appreciate you came all the way out here with Dodger and everything but we were only being thrown together because of Mackie and he’s not here so…’

You trailed off when you saw Chris pulling a large backpack out of his trunk and shouldering it, tin water bowl hanging from one side. 

‘Nah, I’m coming with you,’ he spoke confidently, definitively.

‘But… but why?’ You could hear the pitch of your voice getting higher as he closed his trunk. 

He leant forward towards you and spoke lowly, ‘Firstly, like I told you, I love getting outdoors and wanted to do the whole hiking thing. Secondly, my dog’s here expecting some good exercise and I’m not about to be the worst dog dad in the world by showing him all this forest and greenery and then packing him back in the car and returning him to the city. Thirdly, because you’re determined not to like me, and I’m determined to make you see that I’m not what you think I am.’

He let that sink in for a moment, leaving you to ponder his words as he adjusted Dodger’s collar before continuing.

‘Plus, I think Mackie’s Parent Trapped us and he’s clearly gone to a lot of effort to pull this off so I think I owe it to him to carry it out. Besides, I didn’t want to pull this card but I did lie for you and told Mackie you were a pretty cool girl once you let your guard down,’ he began walking back towards your car, little rust bucket that it was compared to his sleek, shiny number, ‘Come on Dodge, let’s go help the nice lady with her bag.’

You could do nothing but scamper after him in bewilderment as he whistled, a picture of cool nonchalance. Was this guy just a serious glutton for punishment? If so, there were probably a few things he need to talk to his therapist about. 

He clearly wasn’t going anywhere so you were just going to have to spend the day ignoring him and enjoying your walk alone. You had your headphones, you could just soundtrack your walk with your favourite music and pretend he wasn’t there. He’d probably get bored after an hour anyway and want to turn back, at which point you’d send him back in the right direction and continue on your merry way. 

So you opened your trunk, grabbed your things and locked up, slamming the doors a little more forcefully than entirely necessary, and headed towards where the path begun without so much as a word to Chris. If he was going to insist on doing this, you didn’t need to make it a comfortable experience for him. Just as you reached the start, you spun around to find Chris and Dodger following you obediently.

‘Just for the record, what I think is that you’re a spoiled, egotistical brat who thinks everyone should be grateful for your mere presence and who can’t take no for an answer, so up to now, you’re doing a stellar job of proving me one hundred per cent right.’

You took a deep breath and turned on your heel, seeing the path stretching out ahead of you. It was going to be a long day.

‘You haven’t locked your car up,’ you threw over your shoulder, words still clipped and angry. You might not like the guy but you wouldn’t wish having a car stolen on anyone.

‘It locks itself when I’m far enough away with my key. It’s got a sensor,’ he called back from behind you.

You paused and shook your head slightly, closing your eyes to remember to breathe before cursing under your breath, ‘Of course it fucking does.’


	4. Chapter 4

To give him his due, Chris had strolled silently at your side for the last thirty minutes without complaining. He’d let Dodger off his lead once you were a little ways from the parking lot and he’d found a decent sized stick to throw for Dodger to fetch back again, which he did, time after time. You side glanced at him occasionally as you walked, desperately trying to keep your interest under wraps, and you realised you hadn’t taken in his appearance earlier. 

He was actually dressed pretty well in dark grey cargo shorts in a soft but sturdy material and a lighter grey sweat-wicking tshirt. It was high end hiking gear, you could tell from the logos, but he’d managed to choose for comfort and practicality, not just for the brand. His hiking shoes were trainer style, rather than boots, which wasn’t great for ankle support but you figured he’d be okay on this day hike. The paths weren’t difficult to navigate and surfaces were fairly even so it didn’t concern you too much. However, you hoped his socks were sweat-wicking too or those brand new hiking shoes were going to shred his feet. But, you reminded yourself, he was here by choice and any time he got too uncomfortable, he was more than welcome to turn back, obviously. 

Eventually, he broke the silence as you headed into the first valley. You supposed it was inevitable really.

‘So, do you hike often?’

You replied without looking at him, ‘Calling something a hobby generally implies one does it at least fairly frequently.’

You heard him sniggering at your side and you swivelled your head to look at him, unimpressed. 

‘What’s so funny?’

‘Nothing. You won’t like it if I tell you, so nothing,’ he threw the stick for Dodger again, his muscles in his arm flexing against the soft fabric of his tshirt. 

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was toying with you on purpose.

‘Go on, I’ll bite. Just tell me.’

But he just laughed even harder before answering.

‘My, my, we are full of innuendos today, aren’t we?’ 

You were momentarily confused as you thought over what you had said and then realisation dawned: doing ‘something’ fairly frequently made it a hobby… reference to biting… Jesus.

‘Oh my god, you’re an actual child,’ you huffed, indignant.

‘You said those things, not me!’ He tried to defend himself, ‘It’s not my fault these innuendos just drop out of your mouth.’

You wanted to tell him that they only became innuendos when he made them so, but you were done talking to him now, two minutes in. Instead, you picked up your pace and he had to jog a little to catch back up with you.

‘Hey, look, I’m sorry. Didn’t realise it was national no-sense-of-humour-day.’

You trained your eye-line straight ahead, determined and focused, maintaining a mantra of ‘do not react, do not react.’

In your peripheral vision, you saw him jog a little ahead and then walk backwards so he could look you in the face as you went. 

‘Not talking to me anymore? Shame. We were doing so well.’

When you didn’t answer, or even glance in his direction, Chris fell back in line at your side before doing a stage whisper to Dodger.

‘Well buddy, I think she might be afraid that if she talks to me, she’ll like me, and then I’ll win the bet.’

You stopped dead in your tracks. 

‘It is not a b-‘

The sight of his stupid, shit-eating grin shining out from under that ridiculous cap cut you off. You couldn’t believe you’d fallen for that. For fuck’s sake. Might as well own it now, you thought.

‘It is not a bet. And there’s seriously no chance of me actually liking you so talk all you want. I might answer, I might not. Either way it changes nothing.’

You started up again, your feet crunching against the dirt path. 

He left you alone for a few minutes, busy working on his game of fetch with Dodger, before he started up again.

‘Aren’t you interested to know how I got all this stuff for today, when you didn’t even text me until yesterday evening?’

You were actually, in truth. Outwardly though, you just shrugged. He was going to tell you anyway, you knew.

‘I actually enlisted some help. It got to like Thursday night and I was fairly certain you weren’t going to text me so the next day I took matters into my own hands.’

You could just imagine the delight on every female member of staff’s face in whatever outdoor supplies store he walked into as he asked for help.

‘Let me guess, the most blonde, buxom, shameless employee you could find in the store? Bet you made her day.’

‘Actually, there were three of them, about this tall,’ he held a palm out to about the height of his hip. ‘Definitely male. Dark hair. Very knowledgeable about hiking but they told me they had a good teacher. They only asked for pizza and ice cream in payment so I figured it was a good deal.’

You remembered what he’d said about taking the kids out for dinner yesterday.

‘The Mackie kids helped you do your shopping?’ You were incredulous. 

‘Yeah, they really sorted me out. Whatever you’ve been teaching them is sinking in. Told me I needed pockets in my shorts, and soft material so I didn’t chafe. Mackie’s kid, talking to me about chafing, can you believe it?’

You just imagined the scene in your mind’s eye and couldn’t help but smile. 

‘And they did it all without a list from me,’ you stated rather than asked, a hint of pride lacing your words.

‘Yeah, your list came far too late. I mean, I’m pretty sure they talked me into buying things I didn’t actually need as a first timer but at least I’m well prepared.’

‘Don’t get too cocky, Boy Scout, we’ll see how long you last,’ you nodded towards a grey cloud just peeking out over the top of the valley, ‘I think we’re in for a rain shower.’

Now that wasn’t in the forecast, but you knew the weather could change quickly around here, the mountains tending to dictate the weather in their own way. But Chris didn’t seem fazed, the rest of the sky was still blue after all, and the sun was still out and warm. 

‘Baby, I’ve got all the protection required and can last as long as you need me to, that’s a promise,’ he was only jokingly suggestive but you couldn’t help the blush that crept up your throat and cheeks.

***

If Chris thought he could win you over with a cute dog and a few instances of choosing to hang out with his buddy’s kids on a Friday night, instead of whatever it was that Hollywood stars usually did, he was very much mistaken. 

However, trying to ignore him constantly was getting exhausting and you still had a good six hours of walking left to do, plus breaks for snacks and lunch, and so you reluctantly settled into answering his questions. It wasn’t quite conversation but he spoke and you sometimes responded. 

‘It’ll be lunch time soon. You getting hungry?’ 

His face dropped, ‘Shit! I forgot to bring food! Fuck, I thought I was so prepared!’

You stared at him, deadpan.

‘You came out on an eight hour hike through the mountains, without any food?’

‘Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m an idiot.’

‘Good job I packed extra rations, isn’t it? I’ll share, but only because I don’t know what I’d do with all this heavy muscle if you fainted from exhaustion.’

‘You wouldn’t just leave me for the wolves?’ He grinned at you.

‘Don’t get excited. Not wishing death upon you is not the same as liking you,’ you pointed towards the path ahead and the way it curved upwards through the trees, ‘If we walk for another half an hour, we can get to the top of this ridge and the view is amazing. That will be a good place to stop.’

‘Not even a little bit?’ he was still grinning, referring to your not liking him comment.

‘Don’t push your luck,’ you warned firmly, although not as acerbic as you had been.

‘Okay, okay. Lead the way.’

You carried on up the path, your pace a little more purposeful now there was an end point in place. Dodger was still trotting along merrily, investigating the woodland around him, and you and Chris took turns throwing sticks for him as you ascended the side of the valley, heading towards the viewpoint. There were a few other people on the trail, mostly heading in the opposite direction, and you got a little tense every time you crossed each other, wondering whether they’d recognise Chris, but so far, no one had stopped him at least. 

You realised the need for the cap.

‘I get it now,’ you told him after you’d passed a group of hikers heading down into the valley. 

‘Get what?’ 

‘The cap and glasses combo. Keeps you hidden.’

‘Oh. Yeah,’ you thought he seemed a little bashful, ‘Force of habit now, I guess.’

‘Does it get really bad?’ You asked, genuinely intrigued. Chris was a little more ‘out there’ than Mackie, you thought. He was more of a news item, the handsome bachelor, whereas Mackie was married with a family that he kept pretty much under wraps. 

‘It’s not awful. I can blend in most times. It’s easier when I’ve not got my Cap body, and I’m a bit smaller. But fans tend to be respectful most of the time. It’s the media that’s the worst part, but you have to kind of play their game. I think I’m probably okay out here though,’ he nodded towards your surroundings with a smile.

‘Yeah, can’t imagine there’s many paps lying in wait for you in the woodland.’

‘It’s peaceful. Free. Wouldn’t believe we’re only an hour outside of LA.’

‘That’s why I like it too,’ you agreed with him, and you walked on in something approaching companionable quiet.

***

Reaching the summit, you paused to turn in a slow circle and take in the breathtaking view down the valley. 

‘Now that is something,’ Chris’ voice was quiet and awed at your side. 

‘I know, right?’ You breathed out. It was beautiful, even with the grey clouds gathering to the north. You frowned in their direction. You weren’t bothered about getting wet, but a storm could be a bigger problem out here. You were a little under half way around the trail now, so there was no quick way back. There was a strong possibility you were just going to have to grit your teeth and bear it. There were some wooden shelters dotted about the park, mainly for bird watching, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant during stormy conditions. 

‘What’s the problem?’ Chris asked, noticing your furrowed brow.

‘Those clouds aren’t looking very inviting. It might get a little rough later,’ you told him honestly. 

‘That’s okay, I’m tough, I can deal with it,’ he flexed a bicep for show, mischief on his face as always, and you rolled your eyes.

‘I can’t believe you actually just did that,’ you pulled his arm down, feeling embarrassed for him, ‘Come on, let’s have lunch.’

There was a rock formation at the summit that had sort of been fashioned into a seating area and viewing platform for hikers to rest after the uphill climb and admire the view. You sat on the flat surface, crossing your legs under you and swinging your back pack off your shoulders and round to your front. Chris followed suit, letting his legs dangle off the side of the rock, leaning back on to the heels of his palms. Dodger sat patiently on the ground at his feet, and lapped up water thirstily when Chris set his bowl down next to him.

You dug out your lunch boxes and prised off the lids to reveal sandwiches, fruit, nuts, houmous and veggie sticks. 

‘Help yourself,’ you gestured towards it all.

‘That is quite a picnic. How many people were you actually planning on feeding today?’ Chris reached over for a turkey, brie and cranberry sandwich.

You shrugged, tucking into the salmon and watercress sandwiches in another box, ‘The kids almost always want more food than they bring and obviously I thought they’d be here today.’

‘They really look up to you, you know?’ Chris threw out casually, ‘That’s how I know you’re not as mean as you make out.’

You looked up at him sharply but he just beamed at you. 

‘I’ve been around them their whole lives pretty much. The Mackies are definitely the family I got to choose.’

You could see out of the corner of your eye a family appearing over into view as they clambered the last few metres to the flat summit. A couple of kids and two adults close behind. A pretty nice way to spend a family day out, you thought. 

Then the dog appeared, what looked to be a beagle and the moment it spotted Dodger, it made a beeline for him. Dodger didn’t mind, as it so happened, and they said hello pleasantly before launching straight into play bows, tails and tongues wagging in playful excitement.

‘Jake, go and fetch him, will you? He’s annoying that poor dog,’ you heard who you assumed to be the mom in the family say to who looked to be the oldest son. The younger son, no more than five maybe, came bounding alongside his older brother just as Chris was calling out that it was fine, the dogs were getting on just great. 

The boys approached and tried to tempt their beagle away from Dodger, but they were having too much fun now so the boys just stopped while they waited for the game to finish. 

At some point, the younger boy looked at Chris and did a double take. 

‘Captain America?!’ He asked, voice breathless with shock. ‘What are you doing here?’

You froze in your place on the rock, barely daring to even look over at Chris to see his reaction. How would he respond to this? God, you couldn’t take it if he was mean to this little guy! Granted you didn’t have a massively high opinion of him, but this would push you over the edge.

But, you were even more in shock when you heard Chris speak, his voice deep and controlled and very serious. You almost didn’t recognise it.

‘I’m here on a very top secret mission. Can I have some identification please? What is your name?’

‘Jake Matthews,’ the little boy bounced excitedly.

‘Well, Agent Matthews, I’m here today with Agent Fifteen to investigate some unusual activity in the valley. We’re undercover and we think there might be a secret Hydra lair down there.’

Agent Fifteen - was that you?!

‘Hydra are in the forest!?’ The little boy gave a look of serious concern. By this time, the boys parents had wandered over and were watching the exchange, practically without blinking.

‘They’re not armed, don’t worry. We think it is more of base, where plans are made in secret. We just need to get vital information from there,’ Chris quickly deflected.

The boy nodded, enthralled. 

‘So, Agent Matthews, are you ready for a mission?’ Chris asked, still in his Captain America mode and the little guy nodded enthusiastically. 

‘Take these contact details,’ Chris glanced up at the parents to give an indication that this was all very normal as he pulled what looked like a business card out of the wallet from his back pocket, ‘And if you should see anything unusual, you report it to this number here by text with your mom or dad. Can you do that for me, Agent?’

Jake nodded again, clutching the card like it was the most precious thing he’d ever been given in his life. 

Chris stood up and saluted, the boy instantly straightening his back and copying him. 

‘Mom, Dad, I got to go kick some Hydra butt!’ He called out as he ran off along the path. 

‘Jake!’ His mom called after him, half heartedly scolding him for his phrasing but you were listening to Chris explain the business card to the boy’s father once Jake was out of earshot.

‘…so if you text that number later, he’ll just get a message signed Captain America, thanking him for his service.’

‘You’ve actually made his day, thank you so much man,’ the father replied, shaking his hand. 

‘Not a problem, enjoy the rest of your day.’

The family quickly wandered off in the direction Jake had taken, calling their dog with whistles to come with them. 

Chris sat back down next to you and you stared at him in disbelief. He caught you staring and looked sheepish.

‘What?’ He asked when you remained silent.

‘You know what! So you’re the type of actor that just carries around business cards for his superhero alter ego, in case you come across fans?!’ You were flabbergasted, but, you had to admit, a little impressed.

Chris rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, ‘I know it seems over the top but the kids love it, the idea they can send a message to Captain America and help save the world. Someone at Marvel helped me set it up.’

You smiled at him, looking away quickly when you realised, pretending to be taking in the view.

‘That’s a really great thing to do,’ you told him sincerely, still gazing out over the mountains.

You could see Chris in your periphery, helping himself to carrot sticks and houmous. 

‘I saw you smile at me then, you know, for the first time,’ he teased.

‘Don’t ruin it,’ you half-joked back.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time you left the summit, the clouds have moved in considerably and you were now preparing yourself for the inevitable downpour that would probably happen in next half an hour or so. You and Chris continued along the path, winding back into the forest and following the river. Dodger was a water-loving dog apparently, choosing to take most of the route through the shallows as you and Chris walked the path side by side.

‘Chris?’ your voice rang through the air of the forest, seeming extra intrusive after the strolling in silence you’d been doing.

‘Hmm?’ came his reply.

‘Why did you lie to Mackie about us meeting at the bar? I thought you’d waste no time in stitching me up.’

‘Making assumptions about what I’d do or what I’m like… that’s not like you at all!’ sarcasm dripped from every word. 

You just rolled your eyes, ‘Yeah, yeah. Seriously though, what was the motive?’

‘Well uh,’ he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck, ‘I, uh… well Mackie told me… before we met at their house, that I shouldn’t be trying to wind you up and push your buttons. So I figured he’d think that I was doing exactly that if I told him what had really happened.’

‘Oh.’ You weren’t sure what to make of that. Just how much had Mackie told him? You needed to tread carefully. ‘Did he… give a reason?’

‘No, not really. Just warned me to be on my best behaviour.’

‘And this has been it? Laughing at me constantly, implying I’m boring, forcing your company upon me?’ you were incredulous but you’d long since stopped being abrasive.

He held his hands up with a defensive smirk, ‘I can’t help myself! Besides I’ve never implied that you’re boring. Hanging out with you is far from boring, believe me.’

You were silent for a moment before reluctantly conceding, ‘I guess… I guess I have been quite harsh to you. I suppose o haven’t really helped myself.’

Chris feigned dramatic shock, clutching a hand to his chest, ‘Was that… something approaching an apology I hear?!’

‘Don’t be a dick about it. I still you’re a pain in the ass but some of things I said - like two or three of them only - have turned out to be mostly untrue.’ 

He just grinned at you, ‘I’ll settle for that.’

***

By the time the first drops of rain fell from the clouds, you were still over three hours away from the end of the trail, and they didn’t remain simple drops for long. No sooner had you and Chris stopped against a fallen tree to unpack your waterproofs from your bags than the rain was coming down in sheets. With no apparent reprieve from the clouds in the sky, it looked like you had to settle in for a soggy few hours. Dodger didn’t seem to care though, just shook himself off every so often and carried on. 

‘Do you find this part fun too?’ Chris wryly called out over the whoosh of rain lashing against the ground and the trees around you. 

‘I don’t mind it too much, it’s just a different experience. It’s only water after all, and it makes the forest smell amazing.’

The wind picked up and the air grew humid and you looked up at the sky, willing there not to be a storm, but you knew the signs. 

‘Chris… I think we might have to find shelter soon,’ you warned him.

‘Why?’ He replied, ‘I thought you liked the rain.’

‘I do, but a storm isn’t as much fun. We don’t want to be out in this with thunder and lightning rolling around us.’

As if the sky had heard you, it chose that moment to release a huge crashing clap of thunder that rolled around the valley. 

‘Shit,’ was Chris’ only response, glancing meekly up at the sky.

‘Wait,’ you told him, holding out a hand to pause him in his path. You counted in your head from the moment the thunder stopped, waiting for the tell tale flash that was certain to follow.

You got to eight.

‘It’s about eight miles away. We’ll need to move fast and get to one of the shelters.’

‘And what do we do when we get there?’

‘We wait. We might end up walking in the dark later but I’ve got torches and I know this route inside out and back to front.’

‘Okay, let’s go,’ Chris nodded, trusting your judgement completely. 

You didn’t miss the weight of this responsibility. He was a complete beginner and you weren’t sure how much you should let on about how dangerous it could get in a storm. If the wind picked up any more, it turned the trees into a death trap and the shelters were sturdy but still no match for a bolt of lightning.

You hurried the three of you on, all silent now, your anxiety perhaps creeping out and affecting both man and dog. The path was taking you higher now, the drop between you and the river getting deeper and you knew the ledges were so overgrown with ferns that the edges were impossible to see. 

Which is why, when you saw Dodger dart after a soggy squirrel, heard Chris’ curse as he lurched towards him to try and stop is dog going over the edge, you let out a frightened cry.

A shrill ‘Chris!’ left your body as he disappeared over the edge, losing his footing against the fern and tumbling away from the path.

You immediately dropped to your knees at the edge, feeling your way through the fern and parting it so you could peer over the edge. He was a few metres below you, on the pebbly bank of the river, sluggishly trying to sit himself up and you sprung into action, lowering yourself by the full stretch of your arms and then dropping to the ground with slightly bent knees. The second your feet touched the floor, you were at his side, Dodger, perfectly fine of course, nudging at him with his nose in concern. 

‘Don’t move a second,’ you told him firmly, ‘Have you banged your head at all?’

‘No, I put my arms up somehow. All that stunt training finally came in handy,’ His smile was wan but at least he was still cracking jokes. 

‘Okay, so sit up slowly. Where do you feel pain?’ Your first aid training kicked in nicely. 

He was quiet for a moment, feeling out his limbs. 

‘I’m going to be a bit bruised in most places I think. Might have cracked a rib. My left foot and ankle is agony.’

Fuck. This was not good. Caught in the middle of a storm, in a forest, miles from anywhere that you needed to be with an amateur hiker who now had a potentially broken rib and a lower body injury. 

‘I’ve had worse, believe me. But I’m feeling pretty dumb now so if you could at least try and refrain from telling me how stupid I am, I’d appreciate it.’

You realised in that moment just what a dragon you must have seemed to him after your behaviour at your previous meetings.

‘I don’t think you’re stupid,’ you told him quietly, sincerely, placing a gentle tender hand on his shoulder. ‘I’m just… I’ve just seen you disappear down a cliff and for a moment I thought… anyway, I’m just concerned about how we go about fixing you up and getting help. We need to get out of this storm and fast.’

You racked your brains, trying to think of solutions. You knew, in this weather, it would be hours before the park rescue service could come out to you. Chris’ injuries weren’t life-threatening after all, but staying stationary here while you waited would do you far more harm than good. You needed to get Chris dry, warm and bandaged up as soon as possible. 

‘Okay, I’m just going to check your injuries. I know this isn’t the best place but do you think you could show me your ribs? Unzip your coat but leave it on, try to keep your body dry. I’m going to quickly check you leg and foot.’

He did as he was told while you assessed the damage on his ankle. Removing his shoe and sock for a quick check, you found that it was probably a severe sprain rather than a broken bone, but you knew it was going to hurt like a bitch. He wasn’t going to able to put any weight on it comfortably. 

You replaced his sock and shoe, carefully and gingerly over his ankle, already flushing a shade of purple, and shuffled to his upper body on your knees. You studied his ribs where he said it hurt, trying not to notice the definition of his abs or that solid V of muscle dipping into the waistband of his shorts. You ever so gently pressed the pads of two fingers against the area, asking him to tell you when it hurt, and you deduced that yes, he did have at least one broken rib.

You sat back on your heels, trying to come up with a plan. The rain was still coming thick and fast, with no sign of let up, and you needed to get somewhere that Chris could be picked up from as soon as you were able to get in touch with the emergency response unit. 

There was only one place you could go, and it was going to take every shred of willpower you had to make you go. There was a very real chance that going here could work out horribly, horribly wrong for all involved, but right now it was your only option. 

‘Chris, I know you’re in lots of pain but we’re basically stranded here. I know of a place but it’s about a mile away. Think you could manage it if you use me as a crutch?’

‘I don’t think I have much choice, do I?’ He asked, mouth set in a grim line, the pain starting to set in now the shock had worn off.

You shook your head apologetically.

‘Come on then, let’s get it over with.’

You shifted back to give him room to get up, offering yourself as a support when he needed to grip something to pull his weight up on one leg. 

And, tucking your arm around his body and under his shoulder, you hobbled off along the river bank, towards the one place you hadn’t been to in about seven years and the one place you had never wanted to see again.


	6. Chapter 6

It took a little over forty minutes to reach the lodge, with Chris injured as he was. He grimaced with every step but barely made a sound, trying to remain stoic. You weren’t being much help, given the difference in height, weight and muscle mass, but you didn’t let go, as if you needed the reminder of his injury to convince you that you were doing the right thing. There were no lights on so that was promising. 

Eventually, through the torrential rain and howling wind, you saw it, just the same as you remembered. You told yourself the bristling at the back of your neck was just the chill from the wind. As you approached, you prayed the spare key was still in the place it had always been. 

‘Wait here,’ you told Chris, leaving him slumped against the wall next to the front door, holding Dodger’s lead, as you darted around to the back of the lodge, happy to find the little wooden door, looking like nothing more than am assuming outdoor cupboard - maybe the home of the meter - but once you opened it, there was the safe as it always had been. Your hands trembled as you keyed in the code, elated when the door popped open to reveal the key. All this time and he’d still kept the same code: the date you had first met. He’d always been sentimental, as if that made up for all his shortcomings. 

Pulling the key off its hook, you closed the safe and cupboard, running back around to the front, unlocking the door and helping Chris and Dodger inside. You heaved the door closed behind you, finally shutting out the angry, violent weather. You breathed properly for what felt the first time in an hour, relieved to have shelter, regardless of its place in your memory. Your glance was quick to shift, not settling on anything for very long, not wanting to take it all in. Your furtive gaze did, however, note that almost everything in the open plan living and kitchen was much the same as it had always been. A time capsule almost. 

Chris was a priority now, and you were glad of the distraction. You headed straight for the cabinet where the more heavy duty first aid kit was.

Bidding him sit on a chair that you pulled out from its place at the dining room table, he looked at you warily as you set to work opening up the kit and pulling out a range of tube and wrapping bandages.

‘I have got so many questions I need to ask you about…’ Chris waved his hand to indicate your surroundings, ‘…but before I ask any or you strap me, do you think there’s any chance I can have a shower? Warm up and clean off?’

Your busy hands paused, ‘Oh… yeah. Of course. I’ll need to make sure the heater is on and then it’ll just be ten minutes.’

Without making eye contact, you left the room, heading towards the boiler cupboard, switching it on and hearing it whir to life. You flipped the switch for the under floor heating too before taking a steadying breath and returning to Chris.

You ignored his gaze as it followed you through the living area and behind the island that separated the kitchen. You looked in the cabinets first, finding tins, as you expected, then the fridge, empty except for unopened, bottles water. Finally, you opened the deep freeze, knowing this would be where you’d find the decent stuff.

Just as you thought, it was full of bags upon bags of frozen food: various types of meat, veggies and the usual selection of carbs ranging from mashed potato to microwaveable bags of rice. So you wouldn’t starve, at least. 

Then you went for one of the cabinets under the island, settling on a glass bottle very quickly and setting it on the counter with two clinking tumblers. 

Unscrewing the cap on the amber liquid, you raised an eyebrow at Chris, who nodded. You poured two generous shots and carried the glasses to the dining room table where Chris was still propped in a chair, sitting down opposite him. You slid a glass towards him and you clinked them together in cheers before taking a healthy glug. You didn’t offer up any information but Chris was clearly curious.

‘So, where the hell are we?’ was his first question, bemused.

You considered your answer before obliging, ‘It belongs to some guy I know. From the hiking community. He.. uh… let’s me stay here sometimes, if I need to.’

‘Uh huh,’ was Chris’ only reply, not very convinced, ‘You seem to know your way around very well.’

‘I haven’t been here for a long time, but it’s not changed much,’ you took another mouthful of Scotch.

‘I know you’re being deliberately evasive,’ he smirked at you as much as he was able through the pain he was in, ‘Is this somewhere we shouldn’t be?’

Definitely.

‘No, nothing like that. It just… has a lot of memories is all. The shower will be ready now.’

Chris slowly got to his feet and followed you into the only bedroom, off which was the bathroom.

You got the shower on and to a decent temperature, dug in the cabinet for some toiletries and went back out into the bedroom where Chris was waiting, looking embarrassed.

‘I’m going to need some help, getting my shirt over my head,’ he told you.

‘Right,’ you spat out, too quickly, ‘Of course. I’ll just…’

You stepped towards him and helped him get the arm out on his good side before manoeuvring it over his head and down the side with bad rib. The bruising was already starting to show, blooming vividly against his skin. 

‘Ouch,’ you said absentmindedly, drifting a feather-like touch over his now bare ribs. 

‘It’s not so bad, considering,’ his voice was quiet and seemed to reflect your very close proximity.

‘Definitely could have been worse,’ you whispered back, looking at him in the eye for the first time since you’d helped him up from the ground after his fall.

The silence seemed to crackle between you. There was just something about this place that affected you so deeply, clouded your judgement, thrust you into a haze of instinct instead of logic. It was Chris that broke the spell first.

‘I should really take a shower.’

‘Yeah… yes. It should be a good temperature now.’

He nodded and stepped around you, heading though the door and pushing it closed, but not quite shut, a sliver of light falling through the inch gap. You exhaled like you’d been holding your breath for an untold length of time and then you left to return to the kitchen and the Scotch. Quickly.

***

You had checked your phone while Chris was in the shower: no signal, as to be expected. The service was patchy in this area as it was, add a storm to the mix and there was no chance. That confirmed it, there would be nothing to do but to wait until the storm had cleared. 

You set about putting together an evening meal out of the provisions in the kitchen. It wouldn’t be the best meal ever made, but it would be filling. 

When Chris emerged from the bedroom, you could have groaned. Clad in nothing but a white towel slung around his hips, you felt like a character in one of those Harlequin romance novels. His clothes were all bunched up in one hand.

‘I… uh… I’m sorry for my attire but my only clothes are soaked through.’

‘We can wash and dry them here!’ Your voice was a little too strained, a little too high pitched. You darted towards him to taken his clothing and instantly turned on your heel to head towards the washing machine. 

‘Thanks. Do you think I need strapping up or…? Broken ribs are usually just a time and rest injury, right?’ Chris asked you, even though you felt sure he had more knowledge than you given the training he did for stunts.

‘Yeah, maybe we’ll just leave it until a medical profession can examine you. Wouldn’t want to inadvertently make it worse. Your ankle will feel better with a tube pressure bandage though I think.’

‘Agreed. Any chance you could help me out? Leaning forward is a little inconvenient with the rib situation.’

You sprung into action again, feeling an elastic band that might snap at any moment, and you didn’t know if it was him or the lodge that was doing it, ‘Of course!’

***  
  
You had also taken a shower eventually, and you found some comfortable clothing in one of the closets. Men’s and women’s. You didn’t think too much about where the women’s clothing had come from, or at least tried not to. You found enough items that you and Chris could both at least dress in dry clothing until your own clothes are washed and dry. 

Once you were dressed and after eating a fairly substantial but unexciting meal, you felt a little calmer. The methodical routine of preparing a meal helped to focus you and, given Chris’ current state meant he was in no position to help you, you had some time and space to yourself. He sat over in the living area, foot propped up on a throw pillow on top of the coffee table, reading a book he’d found from the small bookcase in one corner of the room. You’d always thought it had been for show more than anything, but you had worked your way through most of the titles on there over the years, and now here Chris was, quietly content in this cosy lodge as the night howled on, the storm still raging outside. The sofa was side-on to the kitchen, and you caught yourself glancing over at him every so often, just watching him be calm and stoic in circumstances that were - you had to face it - weren’t great. But despite the pain he must be in, and the fact that no one must know where the two of them were (Mackie and Sheletta might have worked out that you’d both continued on the trail when they didn’t show, but that was as much as anyone knew), and that you were basically stranded here, together, he didn’t seem agitated or even phased by it at all.

You’d asked him about it over dinner.

‘Are you feeling okay? I mean, other than your injuries?’

He’d looked at you, fork paused mid air, clearly confused, ‘Yeah, why?’

‘It’s just… we’re stuck here, you’re injured with no medical help, no one knows where we are. You don’t seem even the slightest bit worried.’

He had simply grinned, ‘It’s an adventure, isn’t it? The likelihood is no one will notice I’m missing until tomorrow. I wasn’t expected anywhere tonight and if anyone tries to contact me, they’ll just assume I’m busy. My injuries aren’t the worst - painful sure, but I’ll live - and yes, we are stuck here but I’d hardly call being here with you an inconvenience. Everything happens for a reason, right?’

You’d raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, ‘What do you mean? We were meant to be trapped together with no means of communication with the outside world?’

‘The universe is helping me out on my quest to get you to drop your guard.’

You had smiled and shook your head, ‘Why are you even bothering? I’ve been, admittedly, awful to you, and it seems like you just keep coming back for more.’

He’d gazed at you steadily for a moment, eyes seeming to flit over different points on your face, lingering over your mouth and your cheeks heated.

‘Because I think you’ve been doing it on purpose to try and make me believe you’re not worth bothering with, or too much effort to try and win over. In reality, I think you’ve had some bad experiences that have made you build your walls up so high, even you can barely see over them now,’ he was serious, reverent.

‘Huh. So I’m a good will mission? A girl to fix before sending back out in to world, ready to be snapped up by a willing man.’

He didn’t look up straight away at that, but you saw a small, knowing smile pass over his face. When he did look up, you thought his eyes seem a shade darker, and his voice ever so slightly more gravelly.

‘Don’t kid yourself, I’m not some selfless do-gooder. I want you to like me, not some other guy.’

His words sent a smattering of butterflies through your stomach, and the pace of your heartbeat seemed to pick up. You had to remind yourself he was dangerous. You’d been there, done that with guys like him and look where that had gotten you. The irony of your current location wasn’t lost on you at all. 

‘Chris… I… I was done with the handsome, charming LA guys a long time ago. No offence, but you’re all the same. Look at me, I’m a plain, ordinary high school history teacher. I’d have to be an idiot to think I could hold the attention of someone like you for very long. Don’t… please don’t try and get me to pull my guard down because the moment the challenge is gone, and you inevitably get bored, what’s going to be left of me?’ You were almost pleading with him, this place making you remember, in vibrantly sharp relief, exactly what it felt like the first time. 

Chris looked like he didn’t know what to say for a moment, but he found his words soon enough.

‘Is that… is that really what you think? Jesus, whoever he was really did a number on you, didn’t he?’

You jutted your chin out defensively, standing up to clear dishes and get away from the table, away from him, the legs of your chair grating sharply across the floor, ‘There doesn’t need to have been some dramatic back story for me to know how men are, generally. All that’s needed is a little common sense.’

‘Come on, don’t be like that. You don’t need to shut me down. All I’m trying to do is understand,’ his eyes followed you around the room as you dumped the plates in the sink, bracing your arms against the counter and breathing deeply before turning around to face him.

‘There’s nothing to understand. You want something you can’t have and that makes you want it even more. I get it. I feel the same about chocolate. But I’m a person, with feelings, and if I let you-‘

‘-I’m a person with feelings too. I’m not some emotionless robot just because I’m an actor. Have I done anything at all so far that suggests I’m out to hurt you?’

‘I…,’ and honestly, you had nothing. What had he done? Went out on Saturdays with his buddies, turned up to family dinners, clearly adored his dog, came from a big family and loved his nieces and nephews, carried fake business cards around for his superhero character so he could make little kids feel like Captain America was real, for God’s sake. Aside from the superhero thing, he was just a regular guy, just happened to be exceptionally handsome with a good body. But then, you’d thought Isaac was a regular guy too. He’d made all kinds of promises and had broken every single one over and over again. 

The urge in you to run was overwhelming. 

‘I can’t do this.’ You ran from the room, slamming the bedroom door shut behind you and slumping against it, trying to calm your breathing. Somewhere in your mind, you knew this was nothing more than an emotional reaction to being here, being in the same lodge you stayed in with Isaac time after time, when you’d been so deeply in love that you couldn’t see all the terrible things he was doing to you. You had been so wrapped up in him, your regular guy, that you were blind to anything else. 

The truth had almost shattered you, but you had put yourself back together, eventually, and were determined to never have that happen to you again. 

But here was Chris, crumbling your walls piece by piece, and you were helpless to stop it. 

***

You don’t know how long you sat there, on the floor, back to the door, but after a while you noticed there had been a shift in the background noise. The howling gale had finished and there was no longer the persistent clatter of raindrops on the roof. You looked up from where you had been resting your head against your knees and listened more closely. Was it really over?

Rising to your feet, you padded over to the window to look out into the darkness. You could see nothing on the ground of course, but above you could see the stars delicately twinkling against the velvet sky. The skies had cleared. 

Opening the door on to the living area, Chris looked up at you from the sofa. He was lay across it, clearly trying to get into some kind of comfortable position for sleeping but he was obviously far too tall and you knew it wouldn’t be doing his ribs any good. Dodger was curled up on the armchair and barely even raised his head. You’d made him his own meal at dinner and you knew he must be beat. 

You were strangely calm, as though your tumultuous emotions had come and gone with the storm. 

‘The storm’s over,’ you told him, and it felt like you meant more than just the weather.

‘I know. Feels weirdly silent now.’

‘You can’t sleep like that in your state. Come on,’ you gestured towards the bedroom with your head, ‘I’ve got something to show you. You’ll like it.’

He was silent for a moment and then spoke quietly, ‘I can’t tell you how much I’m dying to point out what an innuendo you just made, but I don’t know if you’re going to bite my head off or not.’

You smiled, ‘Don’t worry, I’m done. Make all the jokes you want.’

As you said the words, you realised just how done you were. You thought being here would just stir up old feelings, and you were right, but you didn’t factor in the cathartic release and closure it could also cause.

He got awkwardly to his feet and followed you.

‘Lie down,’ you instructed and he hesitated.

‘You sure? I mean, I can sleep out there,’ he offered, throwing his thumb back towards the living room.

‘Not in your condition, you can’t. Come on, it won’t be a big deal if you don’t make it in to one. You need to rest properly, and I’ll feel better if I can monitor your breathing with those ribs. Don’t want you dying of a punctured lung on my watch.’

‘I’m not sure a punctured lung would actually-‘ he began as he climbed under the sheets.

‘Just humour me, okay?’

‘Yes, nurse.’

You climbed in next to him, both on your backs and staring up at the ceiling, which was covered in creamy coloured canvas. You switched the lamp off and grabbed the little remote from the bedside table.

‘You ready?’ you asked.

‘I guess?’

You pushed the correct button on the remote and watched as the mechanism kicked in to roll the canvas covering back. Little by little, the glittering night sky was revealed.

‘Wow, the whole ceiling is glass?’

‘Yeah, pretty cool huh? Now you’re getting the full hiking experience, right down to sleeping under the stars.’ 

‘But I’m warm, dry and as comfortable as you can be with a broken rib and sprained ankle.’

‘Exactly. Do you know the constellations?’

‘Yeah, some of them,’ he told you, then whispered, ‘Space nerd.’

‘Well, go on then, impress me,’ you challenged him.

And he did.


	7. Chapter 7

All you remembered was that plummeting feeling you sometimes get when you dream that you’re falling out of bed, or off a cliff, and you force yourself awake a millisecond before hitting the ground. Snapping your eyes open felt like impact when you saw Chris’ concerned gaze in the moonlight filtering in through the glass roof.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ He asked immediately, but you were too confused and disorientated to respond.

You had a myriad of emotions tumbling through you, rolling around in waves, clashing and colliding together. You blinked, trying to swim to the surface, but failing, and everything was instinct. Instead of speaking, you simply leaned forward, pressing your lips to Chris’. You heard a noise of surprise from him but it didn’t stop him from kissing you back and soon you were lost in the sensation. He was gentle, tender, raising one hand to softly cup your cheek, perhaps sensing your delicate emotional state, but it wasn’t what you associated with this place, this room, this bed. Everything had always been a mile a minute, demanding, forceful and you had mistaken it all for wanton passion, had revelled in it even: ‘He just can’t keep his hands off me, can’t resist me,’ was what you had told yourself time after time. 

It might have been frustration or some kind of Pavlovian conditioned response to your surroundings but you pushed back harder, deepening the kiss, running your hand down his tshirted chest and under the sheets, dipping low beneath the elasticated band of his borrowed sweatpants and wrapping a hand around his dick. You knew you had surprised him and you felt that little swell of pride you always had when you knew you were pleasing a man. 

But then he was pulling away from your mouth, his hand pulling yours up and away and the shame and humiliation began to kick in almost instantly. He didn’t want you.

You retreated into yourself but he was there, holding your wrists, pulling you to him, refusing to let you go. 

‘As much as I would normally want to, I’m not going to be able to… you know… perform as well with my injuries, and I don’t want you to have to do all the work.’

You shook your head. He didn’t want you. What had this whole set up even been? A bet? A ‘let’s see how far she’ll go’ personal challenge? Why did you always attract these fucked up men and their fucked up ego boosting practises?

‘Hey,’ he spoke again, more firmly this time, ‘Look at me. Look. At. Me.’

You could barely hear him over the rushing noise of panic in your ears and he repeated himself when you didn’t follow his instruction the first time and you raised your eyes to his slowly. He still had firm hold of your wrists, trying to ground you, keep you from drowning. 

‘I’m not dumb enough to ignore the effect this place is having on you, okay? I don’t know what significance this has in your life, but it’s clearly not a good one, and I’m worried that all this,’ he gestured to the space between you, ‘is just a reaction to a whole shitload of emotional and physical memory. The last, the very last, thing I want you to do tomorrow is wake up and regret anything that happened between us tonight. So I’m calling a raincheck, okay? Until I’m sure this is what you actually want, for real. And until even breathing isn’t causing me pain.’

He grinned at you at the end, trying to lighten the mood and you thought about his words and tried to separate your emotions from your memories but it was so hard. How did you actually feel about Chris? You couldn’t tell here. You needed to be outside, or at least away from him. You couldn’t trust your own feelings lying in his bed next to him when the last time you’d been here… you tried not to think about it. 

You scooted away, gathering a pillow, making to leave, when he wrapped a cool hand around your arm.

‘Where are you going?’ He asked, puzzled.

‘I’ll go and sleep on the sofa,’ your voice was catching.

‘What? No, no, that’s not… please, please don’t take this as a rejection. This is just me wanting to take it more slowly, I swear. Come here.’ 

He tugged to back to him, tucking you into his body - his good side - and wrapping an arm tight around you, dropping a soft kiss on your forehead.

‘I’ve barely been able to sleep,’ he almost whispered, ‘And do you know how beautiful you are when you’re asleep? All those worries and stresses just melt away and you’re relaxed and calm. I want to be the one to make you feel like that all the time. I never want you to be worried or stressed because of me.’

‘So sleep now, here, with me. We’ll figure out how to get home tomorrow and I’ll go get checked out, and we’ll start afresh from there, okay?’

You nodded against him, feeling tears prick your eyes. Everything was so overwhelming, all of the ups and downs of the day catching up with you at last. You breathed deeply, tried to relax and just melt into his side, strung out and exhausted.

***

When you woke again, it was morning, the easy early sunlight filling the room, no sign at all of yesterday’s storm in the sky. You were stiff, having not moved at all from your curled up position next to Chris and as you shifted, so did he.

‘Morning,’ he said gruffly, coming round from sleep.

‘You managed to sleep at least a little then?’ You asked him softly, feeling a little embarrassed about the middle-of-the-night events. 

‘Yeah, a little. My ribs especially are just throbbing now, it was keeping me awake.’

‘I’m sorry… about what I did last night,’ you looked away as you spoke, humiliation well and truly sinking in.

‘Don’t be. I just want timing and circumstances to be a little more in my favour, that’s all.’ 

‘You’re a good man, Chris.’

He smiled at you, ‘It’s true that I try not to be an asshole at least seventy five per cent of the time.’

You grinned back from your pillow and you were both silent for a moment, listening to the soothing sounds of the birds in the forest tweeting, but other than that, nothing at all.

Something approaching contentment washed over you all of a sudden. Chris was different, you could see that now so clearly. He obviously had a pretty accurate moral compass and, although he was the one lay there injured, it was your well-being he was concerned about. A lesser man might have just let you continue what you started last night and let you regret it the next day. Chris, quite clearly, wanted more for you, wanted to give you more.

‘I suppose I better make some calls, get some help and transport down here, get you to a hospital.’

Chris pulled a face, ‘I’m good here for a little while longer. I like this bubble. It’s quiet. Can’t we stay?’

You rolled your eyes, amused, ‘Chris, you have cracked ribs and took a pretty big tumble yesterday, I’ve only left it this long because we didn’t really have any other choice.’

‘I’ll be fine. I don’t want to end this,’ he moved a finger in the space between the two of you.

‘It won’t,’ your voice was a whisper.

‘Promise?’ He asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Promise.’ You stated, definitively.

‘Well, can we least have breakfast before we give away our location?’ 

‘Fine. What would the invalid like?’

‘Ooh, I really feel like eating something from a tin or something from the freezer,’ stroking his beard in mock-contemplation.

You laughed, ‘Well it just so happens that that’s all we have so it’s your lucky day.’

***

You had fashioned a breakfast out of things you found in the freezer: there was bacon, for one, and hash browns, and by the time you finished assembling a meal from various bits and pieces here and there, you had a pretty decent breakfast.

You chatted over your meal, and made each other laugh and slowly, but surely, you realised you’d created a whole new experience in this lodge. There was another memory here now, a good one, and it was all Chris’ doing.

Eventually, you went outside to make the call for assistance, trying to get the best service possible to ensure you stayed connected, when in the distance you saw two moving vehicles coming down the forest path. One looked like a ranger’s car and the other… too fancy to belong in a wild place like this. A bright red sports car, low to the ground, was speeding along behind the 4x4, headed in your direction. A dawning realisation hit you and you bolted back into the lodge, trying to keep the panic from your voice.

‘Chris, we’re about to have company. I don’t know how, but the rangers are on their way.’

Chris looked at you, puzzled, ‘How would they…?’

‘Mackie maybe? If he wasn’t able to get in touch with us last night due to bad service, he might have raised the alarm this morning when there was still no sign?’ 

‘How would they know to come here though?’

You shrugged, talking faster, knowing what and who was approaching, ‘They might have seen the lights, or seen the heat extractor while the oven has been on.’

It didn’t matter either way. You were going to be found any second now, and when the knock at the door was followed by a few clearly harsh words before a key was in the lock and turning, you accepted your fate with white knuckles, closed eyes and a deep breath.

‘Well, well, well. This is a pleasant surprise. Not for one second did I think it would be you I found here this morning.’

You opened your eyes and stared steadily at the man who had appeared, flanked by two very confused rangers. 

‘Isaac.’ You acknowledged in a clipped, brusque tone. ‘Long time no see.’


	8. Chapter 8

You were struggling to contain everything you felt. You had imagined seeing him again a thousand times over but nothing prepared you for the reality. You felt small, vulnerable, nothing like the person you had been for the last five or six years. Your life had been separated into three distinct stages: pre-Isaac, during-Isaac and post-Isaac. Post-Isaac you were collected, calm, you didn’t allow much to phase you, you didn’t allow much to shake you in any sense. You had learned that the consequences of allowing anyone in just weren’t worth it. Until Chris, of course, who had, despite all your best efforts, wriggled his way into your consciousness with his easy humour, his charming smile and his genuine, honest love of life and people. 

But now the evidence, the reminder of all the reasons why you kept yourself so closed off was in front of you for the first time in seven years and you felt yourself shrinking.

From somewhere behind you, Chris’ voice could be heard, confused and wary.

‘What’s going on here?’

You saw Isaac’s gaze flicker to him, and the minute tweak of his sneer as he found a new focus. This whole sorry situation needed shutting down and fast before Isaac could get to Chris. You needed to be gone. Like, an hour ago.

You sprung into action, focusing your attention on the two rangers and gesturing towards Chris, sat with Dodger obediently at his side.

‘This gentleman is injured. Sprained ankle and possibly broken ribs. Is either of you medically trained?’

One stepped forward and made in Chris’ direction.

‘Wait-‘ you heard Chris say, but you didn’t dare turn around and he was being assessed by the ranger before he could say anything else anyway. 

‘Are you going to explain what you’re doing in my property at some point?’ Isaac spat.

You shrugged, crossing your arms over your body defensively, ‘Got caught in the storm with no chance of making it back. This was a last resort.’

‘This is trespassing, is what it is.’

‘Isaac, I let myself in with your own key. That’s hardly going to stand up in court.’

‘Does he know?’ Isaac jutted his chin towards Chris. 

‘Know what?’ You croaked, panic rising in your voice. 

Realisation and malicious amusement danced in his dark eyes, and when he spoke, he was purposefully loud enough for Chris’ attention to be grabbed, ‘He doesn’t, does he? He doesn’t know that he’s spent the night with you in your ex-fiancé’s place.’

You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, ‘Stop it, Isaac.’

‘Did you both eat my food? Shower in my bathroom?’ his quiet, eerie voice was getting closer to you and a shiver ran down your spine. ‘Did you fuck in my bed?’

Your eyes shot open in horror and your face flamed with awful, sickening humiliation, ‘Isaac! Please!’

But he was enjoying himself too much.

‘What was it? Been cooking up your revenge for the last seven years? And this was it? Here it is, your great triumph over me. A revenge fuck with another guy in my bed, yeah?’ The small modicum of amusement disappeared and his voice and eyes turned hard and unforgiving. ‘Like I would give a fuck. Like I have even given you a second thought. I feel sorry for the poor guy, knowing what a disappointment you will have been.’

You trained your eyes to the floor, swiftly glancing in Chris’ direction, praying he hadn’t heard any of Isaac’s words. Your breathing shallow, your body stiff and unmoving as you saw Chris way, way on the other side of the lodge, all attention completely taken up by the rangers. You just needed to let Isaac get it all out of his system while figuring out how to get out of there and fast. This was a situation you had dealt with before, after all, all you had to do was not listen. Just let it all roll off you. It was just words. 

It was just. Words. 

You were silent, knowing that replying to him would just make him worse. You felt like crying, and not because what he was saying was hurting your feelings, but because it wasn’t so long ago, you’d have believed every word and even apologised to him. For being less than expected. For being a disappointment in all things. 

But now, you needed to make sure that firm, hard exterior of yours was back in place and you needed to get out here and fast.

You tuned into the conversation taking place with Chris and knew that an ambulance was on its way. All you needed to do was wait a little while longer. You packed away your feelings to that place you had shoved them all so long ago and fixed Isaac with an unwavering stare.

‘Send me an invoice for the cost of the food. And the facilities if you like. Trust me, I would not have come here if there had been any other option. We’re three hours walk from the car, the storm had moved in and Chris was injured. I apologise for the intrusion but this was the closest safe place.’

The rangers were beginning to help Chris to the car, who was trying to convince them he didn’t needed assistance. They were going to drive Chris up to the where the cars were parked so that he could be met by the ambulance there. You needed to collect Dodger and take him with you.

‘I’m leaving now, Isaac. I don’t suppose I’ll see you again.’

You gathered up Dodger’s lead and clipped it on him as Isaac looked on in something like surprise.

‘So you’re trying the whole ice queen act, I can see. You’re not fooling anyone sweetheart. You’re the same pathetic mouse you always were.’ 

You paused on your way out of the door, but did not turn around to speak to him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

‘No, Isaac, I’m not. I was, I’ll give you that. I was pathetic enough to deal with you for too many years of my life, but I don’t have to now. I’m done and have been done for a very long time.’

With that, you walked purposefully from the building, climbing into the open door of the ranger’s vehicle. Chris was there too, of course, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. The engine was started and you were off, Dodger curled up on the middle seat between you.

‘So that was your ex-boyfriends place,’ Chris spoke first, softly enough not to draw the attention of the two men in the front as you rumbled along the forest road. 

‘Yep. There was no other choice.’

‘I know,’ he replied, ‘I just can’t help feeling that there were some things you did have a choice about, and you went ahead and did them anyway even though they were very questionable decisions.’

You let your eyes drift shut, feeling the shame wash over you, knowing he was referring to the pretty obvious moves you made on him during the night.

‘I’m sorry.’ It was all you could say. There was no reason, no excuse. You opened your eyes again, vision blurred and desperately trying to focus on the green whirring past you as the 4x4 sped the both of you to where your own cars were parked. For all your big, brave words, you could feel yourself shrinking now. 

***

The whole incident felt like a blur as your alarm blared obscenely into the early morning. You barely even remembered driving yourself home, which made you feel queasy. You couldn’t even really recall what had happened to Chris. Had he actually been packed in an ambulance? Had someone come to pick him up? What happened to Dodger? You had run so fast away from it all, you had barely any recollection of what had actually happened in those last couple of hours. 

Such was the impact of seeing Isaac again. 

You sighed, heaving yourself out of bed and padding to the bathroom. Such was the life of a teacher: nothing but nothing would stand in your way of turning up at school. 

You didn’t even dare look at yourself in the mirror, fearful of seeing the evidence of yesterday etched across your features. Fearful you would see yourself as Isaac described. Disappointing. 

Berating yourself as you showered for your lack of strength, you kept turning the reunion over and over in your mind. His sneering expression, his words that cut through every single one of the shaky defences you had built around yourself. All these years, you thought you had created an impenetrable fortress for your emotions, determined to never, ever let a man get to you the way he had again. He had made you a shell of a woman and once you were free, it took a long time to rebuild yourself, to find out who you actually were without him. But ten minutes in his company, and the whole delicate construction had come crumbling down. 

However, you acknowledged, it wasn’t all him. At the other end of the feelings spectrum entirely, Chris had been slowly but surely encouraging you to let him in. He hadn’t been tearing at your walls, like Isaac always had, but he was gentle, so you barely even noticed when another piece had gone. By the time Isaac showed up, you were already vulnerable and exposed, ripe and ready to have your heart plucked from your chest and crushed once again. 

It proved to you, more than ever, that relationships and feelings were more trouble than they were worth. Blasting your hair with the hairdryer, you resolved to forget Chris, to erase him from your life completely, to get yourself back to that place where you were untouchable and closed off. That place was safe and secure and where you needed to be. 

***

‘Christ, you look like shit,’ Nina told you, brutally honest, as she walked into your classroom twenty minutes before the first bell, dropping a steaming cup of coffee in front of you.

‘Thanks for your loving support, as always,’ you replied wearily, your head slumped against your hand, propped on the surface of your desk and breathing in the rich coffee aroma gratefully.

‘Rough weekend?’

‘You could say that, but probably not for the reasons you’re imagining.’ 

‘Go on, give me the summarised version,’ Nina pulled out a chair and sat down opposite you as you took a deep breath and launched into the whole sorry tale, not holding back (excluding the part about Chris being a famous actor, of course), cringing when you told her how you threw yourself at Chris and then how Isaac threw insult after insult at you. 

‘So, have you spoken to Chris?’

You sat up straight at that, ‘What?! Of course not! As he’d want to hear from me now, after all that. I tried to sleep with him in my ex-boyfriend’s bed for fuck’s sake!’

Nina shook her head, ‘He’s probably wondering what the hell you were thinking, true, but I don’t think that’s a deal breaker. Especially when you explain to him just how awful Isaac had always been to you.’

Bile rose in your throat, ‘No way. There is no way I will ever be explaining anything like that. No. I’m going back to how I was before, everything back to normal.’

Nina looked at you with something approaching pity, ‘Babe, how you were before wasn’t normal! Keeping yourself locked away and treating any man who threatens to disrupt your carefully ordered sphere by daring to be attracted to you like some sort of criminal isn’t normal. Is this Chris anything like Isaac?’ 

‘Of course not. Chris is… so different,’ you remembered him pretending to be Captain America for that little boy. 

‘Then what’s the problem. Come on sweetheart, let yourself be happy now. It’s been long enough.’

‘I can’t Nina. I get too consumed. I lose myself and turn into this weak, stupid, ridiculous girl who just gets walked over and treated like shit. And I let it happen!’ 

‘It shouldn’t be like that though. What you had with Isaac wasn’t real, it was abusive! In an equal partnership, you don’t get one person bringing the other one down, changing them. That’s what you need to find,’ Nina reached across the desk to clasp your hand in hers, ‘You deserve it, I promise.’

‘I’m fine on my own Nina, I swear. I was perfectly happy with my life before Chris and I’ll be perfectly happy again.’


	9. Chapter 9

It had been three days, not that you were counting, and you had successfully ignored several messages and more calls in that time, mostly from ‘Chris E’ but a few from Mackie and Sheletta. You threw yourself into your work even more than usual, trying as hard as you could not to be distracted during classes, to be operating at the same high standard you always did for your students. It was working, for the most part. The in-school part was easy. Going home and being by yourself was more difficult but you were resolute. 

You were staying late to grade papers and plan lessons every night, purposefully not glancing in the direction of your phone every time you saw it illuminate from its spot in your purse. You sighed and ploughed ahead, giving it another hour before you finally packed up and went home, on autopilot the entire time.

Trudging up the stairs of your apartment complex, you froze when you saw a familiar silhouette slouched against the wall next to your front door.

‘Do you always work this late?’ Mackie asked you, a knowing look on his face.

Regaining your power of movement, you stepped towards him, fishing in your purse for your key. 

‘I try not to make too much of a habit of it. What are you doing here Mackie?’

‘I can’t just drop round to see my friend who’s been ignoring both me and my wife for days?’

‘I’ve not been…’ You began in protest but the words died on your lips at his ‘don’t you dare bullshit me’ expression.

‘Letta and I are worried about you,’ he admitted, standing up from his spot on the floor.

‘There’s nothing to be worried about,’ you tried to brush him off. ‘Look, I appreciate you calling around but I’ve got so much work to do so…’

‘Don’t kid yourself sweetheart, you’re not getting out of this. We need to talk. Chris told me about Isaac’s appearance.’

The mere mention of the two names sent your stomach into all kinds of knots and all the desperate effort of the last few days seemed to run out at that exact moment. You sighed in reluctant acceptance and swung the door open for Mackie to step through. 

‘Come on then, let’s get this over with.’

***

The thing was, you’d known Mackie for so long, all through your shitstorm of a relationship with Isaac, that once you’d started talking you couldn’t stop. You cried, finally, actually letting yourself get it all out. And he listened through it all, poured you a glass of wine, hugged you when you needed it and was the impeccable friend he had always been. But at the end of it all, you were just desperate to know one thing.

‘Chris thinks I’m a total psycho, right?’

‘What? No way. He’s confused, but he knows that something must have gone down in the past, and he’s smart enough to know that that’s not all you are.’

‘You didn’t tell him, did you? About…’

‘No, of course not. Not my story to tell, is it?’ he gave you a half smile. 

‘What did you tell him then?’

‘To not give up on you,’ he shrugged like it was obvious.

You threw yourself back into the sofa cushions, blowing out a breath that moved the hair out of your face. You thought about all the ignored messages and calls sitting on your phone. 

‘Why is he even bothering?’

Mackie just raised an eyebrow at you, ‘Sweetheart, if you need me to tell you the answer to that, you’re not as smart as I thought you were.’

***

You were sat at your desk the next morning, feeling a little lighter but still not entirely decided as to your next step. There was still a huge part of you that was sure you were just destined to be by yourself. That was the safest option by far, you knew, yet there was also a small but significant part that just wanted to know what it was actually like to be in a loving, healthy, stable relationship. Being alone was safe, but, inevitably, incredibly lonely. 

You had half a mind on that dilemma and half on the papers you were grading when you heard a quiet knock at your door. You looked up and smiled when you saw Amber, the student who had come to you for advice last week.

‘Hi Miss, have you got five minutes?’

‘Of course Amber, come in. What can I do for you?’

She crossed the room, pulling out a chair as she went and sat down opposite you.

‘I just wanted to say thank you. I had a good talk with my boyfriend and felt so much better afterwards. He said he’d felt under pressure about sex too and was relieved when I brought it up.’

‘I’m so glad you’re feeling more positive.’

Amber nodded and continued, ‘And I just wanted to say you were right, about the whole identity thing. I was freaked out at first but as the days have gone on, I’ve kind of realised that the world keeps turning, everything is exactly the same, I’m the same. It’s not changed me as a person at all, I’ve realised, so thank you for that advice.’

Your heart swelled for her, ‘You are more than welcome. I think you would have figured all that out by yourself eventually, but you know where I am if you ever need a pep talk.’

She thanked you again and left and as you watched her go, you realised just how her worries had paralleled your entire mindset for the last few years of your life. 

Your whole identity was wrapped up in the past. You were continually letting Isaac define you, even now. He’d controlled you with emotions and sex for so long, your whole perception of relationships was blighted. But it didn’t have to stay like that. Just like Amber, you didn’t need to be defined by a man. You had told Isaac you were done, and maybe you had meant it, but ignoring Chris and avoiding him when you knew there could be something good there was only proving you entirely wrong. How could you possibly be done with the past if you were refusing to move forward in the present?

So you pulled your phone from your purse and made a decision. You knew he was unlikely to get your message until later in the day given that it was seven thirty in the morning, but you wanted to send it now before you second guessed yourself.

***

By the time you got chance to check your messages again, it was well into the afternoon and you expectantly picked up the device, excited to see Chris’ reply, only to find there wasn’t one. Your heart plummeted immediately. You’d been so rocked by your life-altering realisation that you had naively assumed that the results would be instantaneous, but perhaps Mackie had been wrong. You couldn’t have been very high on Chris’ favourite person list at the moment, given all that had happened. You hadn’t even asked if he was okay, if he was recovering well from his injuries. 

You took a breath and tried to steady your zooming mind. This was okay, no need to panic. Maybe he was just having a busy day and hadn’t had time to reply yet. Or maybe his battery had died. Or maybe he’d accidentally put his phone through the laundry. All were possibilities. No reply after seven hours didn’t necessarily mean he was cutting you off, did it?

You fought the urge to send another and tried to focus on your day and your work, rationalising logically that you had ignored his messages for a good seventy two hours: you’d have to reach whole new levels of hypocritical to expect him to jump to reply to you just because you’d suddenly decided to get in touch. 

It didn’t stop the rest of the day ticking by unbearably slowly, however, and you caught yourself staring into space instead of planning lessons more than once. Your mind kept drifting to those quiet hours before Isaac arrived, waking up in Chris’ arms, feeling him solid and secure next to you, his reassuring words, the content domesticity you had existed in for a short time before the bubble had been burst. 

Ashamed, you recalled how you had treated him at the beginning. Heat crept through your cheeks as you thought about how you had simply tarred him with the Isaac brush instantaneously, his only crime being that he was a handsome actor living in LA. But now you knew, that wasn’t all he was. The career and the location didn’t make the man. You needed Chris to get back in touch with you because, even if he wanted to go no further with you, you felt that you at least owed him an explanation. You wanted him to understand that your treatment of him had actually nothing to do with him at all, that it was all you and your skewed world view. 

You jumped from your reverie when the illumination of your phone screen caught your eye. Heart hammering, you scooped it up expectantly, trying not to let a small wave of disappointment wash over you when you saw a message from Sheletta. 

Food on Friday? Xx

A small smile crept over your face as you typed a response back, accepting her invitation. No matter what happened, you realised, there were good people in your life who always had your back. 

***

By the time you showed up to the Mackie house on Friday evening, you had accepted that maybe you had burned your bridges with Chris. You hadn’t heard anything at all back from him and it was with a heavy heart that you acknowledged it was entirely your own doing. There was nothing to be done - you weren’t the type to beg - and all you could do was take a deep breath, accept the mistakes and wrong turns you had made, and move on. The only silver lining was that this whole experience had opened you up to at least the possibility of a relationship now and you were able to finally let go of the guilty-until-proven-innocent stance you had used as your number one defence mechanism. 

So as Mackie ushered you into the house, taking the strawberry shortcake you had made for dessert off you as you went, you felt lighter than you had for a good long while. You wanted to take the risk again. 

You stepped out on to the patio into the warm evening to say hi to the kids and stopped short at the sight of a familiar figure hovering around the table as he poured wine into the glasses set for dinner.

You went from elated to embarrassed to horrified in unbelievably quick time as you realised he can’t have known that you were going to be there. You were going to have to leave to avoid even more humiliation. Why didn’t Mackie or Sheletta mention this?!

‘Chris? I - I’m so sorry! I didn’t know… I’ll leave, let me just-‘

You tripped over your words in your hurry to turn and exit this awful situation as quickly as humanly possible. You heard, rather than saw, the dull thud of the wine bottle as he placed it on the wooden table top. Eyes trained on your feet, you were almost through the door when you felt a strong hand wrap around your upper arm, gently halting you. 

‘Wait, please,’ you heard him say, that deep voice almost ironic in its soothing nature. 

You stopped but didn’t turn, afraid that if you looked him in the face, you wouldn’t be able to deal with it. 

‘Let me just get my things and I’ll go… I understand - Mackie didn’t tell you I’d been invited - he didn’t tell me either or I never would have… sorry. I’ll go.’

‘No, that’s not - I knew. I knew you were going to be here. I asked Sheletta and Mackie if I could come along as well. I wanted - I wanted to see you again.’

You froze. 

‘You… did? But you didn’t reply to my message.’

‘Neither did you. For three days I might add.’

You could hear the grin in his voice and you turned around, meeting his gaze for the first time, those blue eyes soft and friendly.

‘But… I…’ You didn’t actually have a reply to this, no argument to fire back.

‘I decided that perhaps a face to face conversation would be best. Give you less chance to hide. So, will you stay?’ 

You looked at him steadily, trying to weigh up whether there was an ulterior motive here, some effort to manipulate you, before you shook that thought off. You weren’t thinking like that anymore. 

‘Yeah. Yes. I’ll stay.’

‘Good,’ he took you by the hand and led you back to the table, ‘You’re going to sit here, next to me.’

He pulled a chair out and tucked it under as you sat down before sitting himself on the seat next to you. You watched him in something like wonder, still reeling from the swift u-turn your emotions had taken. He grinned at you with a hint of bashfulness as he gripped your hand under the table. 

‘So, you’ll be glad to know my ribs are on the mend. Dodger’s going to spend a lifetime making it up to me.’

And just like that, the tension was lifted, the ice broken, all your weighty concerns and worries from the past week chased off into the distance by this affable, gentle, considerate man and his easy, relaxed charisma. 

There was a big conversation that needed to happen in the very near future, but for now you were happy to pick up exactly where you had left off that morning in the cabin.


	10. Chapter 10

You glanced nervously at the clock, wiping your hands on a cloth as you ran through your mental checklist once more. Dinner was in the oven, dessert was chilling in the fridge, the table was set… all you needed to do was get yourself ready. You had about forty five minutes until Chris was due to arrive and you planned on using them to make yourself as primped and preened as possible. 

After the success of your reunion at Mackie and Sheletta’s, you had invited Chris over to your apartment for dinner. You planned on telling him everything, the whole sorry tale. Yes, there was a high probability that it would totally kill the mood, and you worried that it was too soon to be bearing your soul so completely, but after all that had happened, it seemed like the only option. Chris had to know, end of. 

You practised what you were going to say as you showered and shaved your legs, and then again as your dried your hair and applied a touch of make up. You practised, but you knew full well it would all go out of the window once you actually began talking. Still, it didn’t hurt to run through it all, as much as it pained you to recall the events that put the final nail in the coffin on yours and Isaac’s relationship. 

By the time the doorbell rang, you felt somewhat ready. You did a final smooth over of your dress and opened the door to Chris, smiling on the other side and holding a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. 

You matched his smile, feeling nerves turn to excitement now that he was there, and stepped aside to let him. 

He gifted the flowers to you and you thanked him, pressing a gentle and tentative kiss to his mouth before heading to the kitchen to find a vase and water. 

‘Smells good in here,’ Chris complimented you. 

‘It’s honey mustard chicken. I hope you’re hungry, I got a little over excited and made enough to feed the whole apartment block.’

He just grinned boyishly, ‘Oh, I’m absolutely famished.’ 

***

You chatted all through dinner, music playing softly in the background, venturing into flirtation on more than one occasion. You had seated yourselves around a corner of the table so that your knees brushed together often and you were close enough to lay a hand on an arm here or have your hair brushed back over your shoulder there. Each touch ignited a new spark within you, your body finally able to give in to its attraction to him. 

Chris helped you clear away the dishes after dessert, moving close by you as you stacked them in the sink and you felt hands snake around your hips, a bristly cheek rest against yours from behind. 

‘Thank you for that spectacular dinner,’ he said sincerely, and you spun around in his arms, wedged between him and the counter, laying your hands against his chest.

‘You are more than welcome,’ You beamed up at him. ‘I hope it goes some small way to apologising for the absolute shitshow you’ve encountered since you met me.’

You laughed as you said but there was a serious undertone to your words.

He dipped his head in acknowledgement, ‘There’s nothing to apologise for, honestly. The one thing I would like to know, if you ever felt up to telling me, is what that asshole did to you in the past to make you so wary. Just so I know what I’d be fighting him for if I ever meet him again.’

You knew he was joking about the fighting thing and you laughed with him, trying to keep the mood light but feeling the significance of what you needed to do. 

Reaching up on tip toes, you pressed your mouth gently to his, placing your hands against his neck. He pushed back against you almost instantly, deepening the kiss, sweeping his tongue across your bottom lip. It was full of longing and, on your part, of apology, both for what had happened and what you were about to unload on him. 

You pulled back just enough to be able to speak against his lips, ‘Let’s take the wine into the living room and I’ll tell you whole thing.’

He looked at you steadily for a moment, ‘You sure? I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.’

‘No, you need to hear it so you can understand. I’ve been holding on to it for too long.’

He nodded, ‘Lead the way.’

***

So you sat, with your glasses of wine and you told him the whole of your history with Isaac. Some of it you had assumed Chris had been able to piece together from what he had seen at the cabin, but some of it was going to be fresh information.

So you told him how you had met Isaac when you were too young to know any better, had been taken in by his good looks, charming personality and, honestly, his ambitions of being an actor impressed you. He was just starting out but had a couple of decent TV credits under his belt, he knew people and was a little showbiz. 

You spent a lot of your relationship wondering what he saw in you, how you had managed to catch such a prize, and it was only years later that you realised that whole train of thought was one carefully cultivated by Isaac himself. He wanted you to feel inferior, like he was doing you a favour, and he manipulated you so well that you hadn’t even realised that he was doing it. Every time he made you change your clothes before going to an event, or compared you to another girl, or changed plans at the last minute and went to events alone because ‘you know how it is babe, sometimes I can get more out of networking if I appear single, it’s just for work, you know that right?’

And every time, you told him yes, you knew he was trying to carve a career for himself to secure your future. He wasn’t cheating on you, he loved you! 

Then things had happened in rapid succession. You moved in with him, into an apartment being sublet by none other than Anthony Mackie, also an up-and-comer at the time, and three months, he’d asked you to marry him. You had worn that obscene ring with pride at the time, believing beyond everything that this proves exactly how much Isaac truly loved you, how everything he did was for your future together as a couple. Underneath it all, however, deep down you were scared of how much you needed him. All of your friends had been cut off, left to the wayside as Isaac consumed you. You dyed your hair, lost weight, starting tanning - all things you thought would make him love you more - because, now you knew, that ring that never made you feel more secure. If anything, now you had it, you felt you had to work to keep it. 

Isaac was the only person you had in your life, and that made it very difficult to leave him, even years down the line when you knew things weren’t right, that there was something wrong in his treatment of you. He stayed out late, a lot. You were invited to less and less of his events and spent more and more time alone in the apartment with only that ridiculous ring for company. His career didn’t seem to be going anywhere fast and you began to live for monthly trips to the cabin. 

The cabin belonged to his parents really, but Isaac used it the most. Sometimes for out-of-town parties but your favourite times were when it was just the two of you. It was only there you felt like you had him, truly. You tried to keep him in bed all weekend, waiting on him hand and foot, trying desperately to show him how good a fiancée you were and how you could meet all his needs. You didn’t care what he asked of you, you did it. He was himself at the cabin, he was nice to you and paid attention to you, and you told yourself this is how he really was and that ‘LA Isaac’ was just a front, a mask.

The truth really hit you all at once, however. You’d been feeling pretty sick at work for a couple of days and, having mentioned it in passing to Nina, decided you should take a pregnancy test. You bought one at the store on your way home, leaving work earlier than you normally would, feeling excited to tell Isaac. This would surely set everything in stone. Engaged, with a baby on the way, you could be a family. You could give him what no one else could. Maybe he’d give up on the actor thing and settle into something more stable once he was a Dad.

You let yourself into your apartment, ready to burst, ready for Isaac to wait with you in anticipation as the test did it’s thing, but you froze immediately. 

There, bent over the couch was a naked woman, head thrown back in pleasure as Isaac pounded into her from behind. Time seemed to slow. You saw every little detail, saw him admiring her ass, giving her a little slap, telling her she was a good girl. You heard the noises she was making, thrusting her backside in the air like she was in a porn movie. It wasn’t long before the shock evolved and all you wanted to do was throw up. 

‘Isaac?!’ Your voice was strained, wild. 

They both turned to the source of the noise but Isaac barely batted an eyelid. He even grinned a little as he pulled out, telling the girl he’d be back in a minute. 

‘I didn’t know you’d be back so soon baby,’ he said as he nonchalantly strolled past you to the kitchen, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge.

‘Isaac! What - we’re together. We’re engaged! I can’t… why would you do this? Does this mean nothing to you?’ You held up your hand for him to see the ring he’d placed there himself.

He took a swig from his bottle and gazed at you, no emotion whatsoever on his face.

‘Don’t be so naive sweetheart. This is LA, you think anyone is monogamous?’ 

That churned up the ever increasing fury inside you and you wanted to scream.

‘I am! I’ve been here, been faithful, been everything you could possibly want me to be, and this is what I come home to.’

‘That’s the way it works baby, very rarely does wife material coincide with, well, bedroom material. That’s all I’m saying. Needs have to be fulfilled somehow. Now why don’t you run along for a couple of hours, take my card, go treat yourself to some shopping, and we’ll go out for a nice dinner later.’

He laid his bottle on the counter and began to walk back towards the girl, still ready and waiting over the couch. You couldn’t believe the lack of concern. He literally did not care that you had caught him fucking another woman’s brains out while you were at work, while you might have his child-

‘Isaac, I might be pregnant. I came home early today to do a test.’ 

That made him stop at least and he turned around slowly, but his face was hard and unforgiving.

‘Then what are you doing here? Get to the doctor and get that sorted out now,’ he hauled you by the shoulder and all but pushed you out the door, ‘And don’t come back until it’s taken care of.’ 

You stood in shock, staring at the front door, watching your life fall apart in front of you. You had no one. There was no one to go to, no one to help you. Isaac was all you had in the world. 

Eventually, you had called Mackie. He was your landlord for all intents and purposes, and you didn’t really know him too well at that point, but at least he could help you with the apartment stuff. Maybe he had another sublet you could use temporarily? And help you collect your belongings from the apartment? Because you wouldn’t be going back. Not ever. 

He’d come over after hearing your shaky voice on the phone and had led you away carefully. He and Sheletta had taken you in, Sheletta holding your hand while you waited for the results of the test (Negative. Just stomach flu then) while Mackie collected your belongings for you. You figured he’d kicked Isaac out because Mackie had asked you if you wanted the apartment back. You’d shook your head vehemently. There was no way you would ever go back there. 

With the help of Mackie and Sheletta you had slowly gotten back on your feet, found a new apartment, threw yourself back into work, and, after a broker had told you your ring was virtually worthless, had thrown it into the river. 

You started again, were reborn as a new Isaac-less woman: hardened, cynical, and alone but just about getting by. 

Until Chris.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s earning the Explicit rating in this chapter. Definitely NSFW!

As you got the final words out, you could barely look at Chris. You had made it through the whole thing without so much as a break in your voice and you knew then that you would move on from this. You would always bear the emotional scars of course, but the wounds were almost healed. You had been holding on to the the hurt and insecurity and anger for so long, you had forgotten what it felt like to not have those emotions rolling around inside you. At this moment in time, however, all you felt was apprehension. No one in their right mind would tell that much story so early on in whatever it was that you had going here and you weren’t sure how Chris was going to react. Maybe it would be too much, and he would run in the opposite direction, but at least you had something to take from the whole experience, regardless of what happened between you now: you could, at last, finally turn the page on the Isaac part of your life. There was a whole new blank book just waiting to be filled with the rest of your life, and Isaac wouldn’t feature in any of it. 

So, when Chris had been deathly silent for more seconds than made you comfortable, you comforted yourself with the knowledge that no matter what, you could move on from this point. But then you felt warm fingers snake around your own, clasping them tightly, your head shot up and your gaze met his. His expression was unreadable.

‘I’m… I don’t even know what to say really. I’m just so, so sorry that you went through that.’ Chris’ voice was sincere, his hand tight around yours.

‘There’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s in the past now. It’s just something that happened to me but isn’t happening anymore. I just wanted you to know because this has obviously affected a lot of my actions up to this point, especially where you are concerned,’ you were bashful, sheepish, all too aware of how terribly you had behaved.

But Chris was shaking his head, ‘Anyone with even a little awareness of the way human nature works could see that something terrible had happened in your past.’

‘It still doesn’t excuse the way I behaved. I knew all along that you are nothing like him, but I was still in a place where I was constantly making comparisons and I was scared - so scared - of being the idiot that didn’t see it coming again. Better to be an idiot of my own making than be taken in by someone like that for the second time, right?’ You gave a wry smile, and Chris returned it, eyes soft and gentle. ‘But I can’t live like that anymore. Why should I? I’ve punishing myself over and over and it’s only now I can see - none of it was my fault.’

Your voice did wobble at the end there, however much you tried to hold it in, and Chris pulled you to him, crushing you against his chest.

‘None of it,’ he agreed, his arms soothing around your shoulders. 

‘And I’m tired Chris, I’m tired of being in this forced state of loneliness. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of fighting you.’

You felt a chuckle rumble through his chest, ‘Then I’ve got a simple solution to that, sweetheart.’ 

You pulled back slightly to look up into his face and when he spoke his voice was almost a whisper, not a trace of humour in his features.

‘Don’t fight me anymore.’ 

You searched his face for anything in his expression that might indicate he was wary or unsure, or just saying that because you’d spilled your heart out to him and he felt nothing but pity. But you only found openness and sincerity, he was just waiting for you to let him know that it was okay, that you were ready to give him a chance.

‘I can’t promise that I’m one hundred per cent fixed, Chris. I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to have days where I feel insecure and I let it get the better of me.’

‘Just like any other person on the planet. Just like me. Nothing is ever perfect, nothing will be ever be completely smooth sailing and it’s always going to be a little bit scary. All we can do is give it our best shot.’

He was so close and you were pulled so tight against him, you wondered if he could feel your heart hammering against your ribs as you leaned in to shrink the distance between your mouths. He caught your movement and inched forward to meet you in the middle, carefully, tenderly pressing his lips to yours. 

There was nothing in that kiss but want - no manipulation, no control, just pure, simple want - and it made you feel lighter than air. He was tentative when you swept the tip of your tongue across his lip. He let you push into him a little harder, let you lead the way, but you felt one hand come up to cradle your face, hold you steady. 

‘Stay here tonight. With me.’ The words fell out of their own accord, tumbling against his lips. 

He froze momentarily before pulling back, his fingers absentmindedly tucking your hair behind one ear. He seemed to be considering your words, his gaze flickering minutely across your face and the pause made you uncomfortable and you shot upwards, propelling yourself away.

‘I’m sorry, that was too forward… I just got caught up. You-‘

‘Hey. Hey. Will you stop-‘ you could feel him grasping for you and eventually had your shoulders in each of his palms, turning you gently to face him, ‘I swear, you have got to stop thinking you know what’s going through my head. Give me a chance to actually tell you before you go jumping to conclusions, okay?’ 

You took a deep breath and nodded slowly, ‘Okay, I know. It’s just… it’s hard to get out of my head sometimes.’ 

‘I know, I know. It wasn’t too forward or whatever else. Let’s just…’ his hands moved from your shoulders to the nap of your neck, his thumbs caressing the sensitive skin just under your ear. You were so warm under his gaze and when you found the intensity reaching its peak, you buckled and glanced down and away, only to see his lips, slightly parted, slightly swollen from your making out, and it did nothing to relieve the tension bubbling in you.

‘Still in your head?’ He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You shook your head, and it was true. You could only focus on the two of you in that moment and how much you just wanted… him.

‘Good,’ he continued before leaning forward and capturing your lips with his again. It wasn’t long before you wound your arms around his neck, stretching up on your tip toes and pushing your body into his. Chris slid his hands down your body, stopping at your hips and anchoring you to him. The mewl that left you was completely involuntary and only made Chris push back harder upon hearing you as your kisses grew more frantic, more desperate. You stepped back to brace yourself and found the back of your leg colliding with the sofa and you immediately tumbled backwards, pulling Chris with you.

You laughed through your breathless apologies, punctuated with more kisses, until the reality of your new position hit you with full force. Here you were, under Chris, feeling his weight heavy yet comfortable on top of you, as he traced your jaw and lips with this thumbs. The laughter gone, but with the shadow of a smile still dancing on his mouth, he simply looked into your eyes. 

‘What?’ you asked, a light giggle betraying your self-consciousness under his scrutiny.

‘Nothing,’ he told you quietly, ‘I’m just taking a minute to remind myself what a fucking lucky guy I am.’ 

When you kissed this time, it felt different, had less of the desperation and was more reverent, languid, and when his fingertips began tracing soft circles on the skin of your thigh where your dress had ridden up, you paid him back in kind, running your hands brazenly under the hem of his tshirt. You explored further and further until he eventually got the hint, rocking back to pull his shirt over his head and toss it over the back of the couch, revealing the fading bruise on his ribs from his injury. 

Your hips began to rock into his of their own accord, the delicate flesh of your thighs meeting the rough denim of his jeans and you could hear his breathing getting more and more laboured. Those fingertips found the thin lace of your underwear, brushing across them lightly, testing your warmth and you couldn’t help but buck into his hand when he delved under the material and roll over your most sensitive part. 

Now there were so many sensations to process - the scratch of his beard against your cheek, his lips and tongue working yours like his life depended on it, the delicious weight of him pinning you to the sofa and now his fingers working you over like you were a wind up toy - and it was impossible to not simply fall with abandonment into the abyss of pleasure he was creating for you. 

When he pulled away from you, your heart sank. He was up on his knees as you silently protested, unable to form the words to stop him, shuffling down the sofa, but then he was tugging your underwear down your legs with one hand and pushing the skirt of your dress up with the other. He pushed one of your legs up to rest on the back of the sofa and hooked the other over his shoulder and excited anticipation bloomed in the pit of your belly - he wasn’t? Surely?

‘Chris, what are you - you’re not-?’ you were a little embarrassed, to tell the truth, embarrassed for him to see how much you were aroused by him. But he simply grinned up at you.

‘Oh I am, and with great pleasure I might add. I promised you a full show post-injury healing at the cabin, I recall?’

‘But-‘ but you didn’t get to finish. His tongue was working broad stripes over you and whatever ridiculous thing you were about to say died on your lips. 

You were suspended in time and space, lost to this man and the things he was doing to you. Your hands found their way to his hair, threading through the strands as your quiet moans and groans floated in the air. He varied his touch over your scorching flesh constantly, swirling, licking, sucking, dipping and you were helpless as the flowering bud of your orgasm began to unfurl. He was relentless and didn’t stop even as your inner thighs clamped around his head, your muscles quivering as your climax took hold right there on your couch. His name spilled from your mouth over and over again in pants as your chest heaved. 

Barely even aware of your own name and yet he was pulling you up by your arms.

‘Come on sweetheart, we need a bed for the second half of the show.’

‘I can’t, I don’t think my legs will move,’ you were breathless, not helped by his next move which was to scoop you up, bridal style, into his arms.

‘Just direct me then,’ he told you with an easy smile and as much of a shrug as he was able to give whilst holding you. You obediently told him which door he needed and he began to take you both in that direction. 

‘You’re too good, you know that?’ You told him, slumped against his shoulder and staring up at his face in wonder. Was it possible to be drunk on another person because you were pretty sure you were there. 

‘Too good?’

‘Yeah, at all this. So smooth. I’m so awkward, I don’t know how you deal with me.’ 

‘You’re not awkward, you’re just not sure how to ask for what you want yet,’ he explained simply before grinning as he kicked open your bedroom door, ‘We can work on that, if you want.’

‘If I want?’ This was all so new to you. He gave you choices, options, actually wanted you to be able to voice your desires. Like so many things with Chris, it was a revelation.

‘Yeah, totally up to you,’ he reiterated as he laid you gently on your mattress, hovering over you with his weight on his forearms as he leant down to kiss you once more.

‘Okay then,’ you told him, a new confidence running through you like electricity, ‘I’d like you to take my dress off please. And then I want to get rid of those jeans of yours.’

He smiled and tilted his head in acknowledgement, ‘Your wish is my command, my lady.’


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Chris made quick work of his own clothes, leaving him in just his boxers but when he turned his attention to you, he was much slower. He took his time, in no rush, no care in the world except adorning you with attention and, you dared to think, affection. 

His hands slipped over the material of your dress, seemingly everywhere at once and leaving a trail of heat everywhere they went. Kisses followed his touch and you writhed under him on your bed, your breathing slow and laboured. When you felt his palms lifting your legs up and smoothing over the back of your thighs under the material of your dress, your ankles seemed to instinctively know to cross each other, wrapping your legs around his body. 

Slowly but surely, he rolled you both over and then you were on top, straddling his hips, arms braced against his chest. You took a minute to catch your breath and your gaze was caught by his. You could feel the distinct rise and fall of his chest under your hands. There were a myriad of thoughts running through your mind, all colliding and flying and crashing at once, and you couldn’t catch any of them. How did you actually feel? You weren’t sure. 

A gentle, tentative hand cupped your face, bringing you back to earth. 

‘Hey, you okay? You look like… I don’t know, there’s so much flitting across your face right now, I can’t tell.’

‘I don’t think I can either,’ you admitted.

‘Let’s stop-‘

‘No, no, it’s not that. I just…’

‘It’s too much all at once?’

You considered his words. Was it too much? 

‘…not in a bad way. It’s like… I didn’t ever think I would feel like this. It’s just making me realise how wrong it all had been before and I was too dumb to realise. This feels too good, too easy - I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.’ 

Chris shifted under you and you flopped down on to your side next to him. Facing you, he tucked your hair behind your ear. He was so close you could see the fan of his eyelashes.

‘I’m desperate to make sure there isn’t another shoe. I can’t say I’m never going to piss you off - there’s already a pretty strong history of me doing that with you!’ You laughed and shoved playfully at his shoulder at that, ‘But I can promise it will only be ever about stupid things, like leaving the seat up in the bathroom or wet towels on the bedroom floor. There will never, ever be a shoe like the one that’s been dropped on you before, that I can guarantee.’

You couldn’t help the smile that curled your mouth slightly. He talked about little domestic things so easily that it calmed you more than you could ever have thought. It implied a future, a real relationship and let you know that his intentions went beyond just simple lust or the thrill of the challenge.

You only had to edge forward marginally to let your lips meet his. The kiss started slow as you explored and he let you but soon bloomed with heat and sensuality as he drew you closer, your bodies pressed together. You felt better in this position, side by side. There was no battle for control and, equally, no expectation on you like there would have been if you’d stayed on top. As much as Chris had promised you ‘the full show’, you didn’t need any flashy showmanship, you didn’t need sex with all the bells and whistles, you simply wanted to feel wanted.

So when you hooked your leg over Chris’ thigh, drawing him in to where you were warmest, he got the idea, pushing back just a little harder into your kiss. You could feel his hardness pressing against you through his boxer shorts and when you lifted your upper body up to pull your dress unceremoniously over your head, he stretched his arm across the space you had left on the mattress, so that when you lay back down, his arms circled you tightly. You were flush against him, lazily kissing, legs intertwined and in no particular rush. 

‘I think I could lie here day after day with you in my arms, making out,’ Chris grinned against your mouth.

‘Funny,’ you replied, ‘I was just thinking the same thing.’

‘Hmm, glad we agree,’ he told you, peppering kisses against your lips as he spoke before they developed again into something more heated, more intense.

His fingertips skimmed the warm, bare skin of your back and hips, tracing your spine and curves in sequence over and over again, like he was trying to map your body out. When his palm smoothed over your butt, you knew you were getting ready for the main event. You were throbbing with need. He hooked a hand under your knee, already slung carelessly over his hip, and pulled you even closer, your bodies pressing together tightly, only separated by the thin material of his boxer shorts.

‘Chris… they need to go now,’ you told him, the hint of warning in your voice betraying your desperation.

He used one hand to start to shimmy the garment down his legs and you sat up to help, delighting in watching his cock, hard and needy, spring free. Having kicked his boxers off and away, he pulled you back to him, resuming your previous position, not a sliver of space between your bodies. You could feel him between your legs, bobbing against you with every slight shift of his body and you so badly wanted to be filled by him. You ached to feel him push inside you for that delicious first stretch. 

Reaching a hand down, you wrapped your hand around him, stroking lightly and guiding him through your heat, coating him with the evidence of your first orgasm that evening. You heard him suck in a breath, his body tense everywhere below his hips, like he was trying to hold back. 

‘Jesus, that feels good. You feel so good.’

You guided him to your entrance, lining him up where you needed him to be and he pulled your leg higher over his hip again, giving him better access to you.

Keeping steady, confident eye contact with him to assure him that this was what you wanted, that you were ready to fully feel this positive, incredible bundle of emotions building between you, you pressed your lips gently against his. Simultaneously, he shifted forwards and ever so gently pushed in to you. You felt it immediately, the stretch being drawn out so beautifully, you never wanted it to end. 

Once he was fully sheathed, for a moment there was nothing. He simply stayed still and kissed you, letting you adjust to both the physical and emotional aspect, you guessed. But this didn’t feel like an intrusion. It felt right to have him inside you, like matching a key to a lock. There was no resistance, no race to the end. He was enjoying being with you, you realised, not only interested in the end result. 

You weren’t sure who moved first but soon you were both undulating in tandem, rocking your hips together, finding a time and rhythm that seemed to speak volumes about the enormity of this moment, for you, and maybe for him, you weren’t sure. 

The pressure built and built between you, foreheads pressed together, skin glistening, not saying a word but somehow communicating more than enough. Soft noises of pleasure mingled between you as you savoured the gradual build towards climax. You were clinging to him, afraid to let go completely but powerless to stop waves as they came crashing. You crushed your mouth to Chris’ as he rocked into you again and again, drawing your orgasm out as much as possible, until he stilled, hauling you against him impossibly tighter as his own release shuddered through his body.

You lay for a few minutes, catching your breath and waiting for your heart beat to recover, and when Chris pulled out of you with a smile and a kiss to your forehead, then the tip of your nose, you felt the loss of him keenly and the mewl of disappointment was out before you knew it was happening. 

He chuckled lightly as he strolled to your bathroom. You watched him unashamedly when he returned with a warm washcloth, cleaning you up gently. It was quickly discarded into a hamper and Chris was back on the bed behind you, tugging you to him, planting kisses against your neck and hair. You sighed softly with contentment and revelled in the warmth of his body around yours. The reverberation of his gravelly voice against your ear tickled when he spoke lowly.

‘I’m sorry that wasn’t… you know, anything to write home about.’

You were baffled, and instantly self-conscious, your heart sinking. You didn’t dare turn. 

‘Oh. Did you not… was I not… was it not good. For you?’ Your only just recently settled heart was now hammering in your chest.

‘Oh god, babe, no, that’s not what I meant at all.’

He shifted back a fraction and turned you by the hips so you were on your back against the mattress. He still lay on his side, propped on one elbow so he could look down into your face, his abs flexed distractingly in your peripheral vision. Damn, he was so hot, ‘Sorry, that was worded so badly. I just meant, you know, I promised you, I don’t know, all the tricks and stuff. I wanted to impress you a bit so you’d know that you had someone putting the effort in for you. But I got caught up and just… didn’t.’ 

He was an idiot. Probably as much of an idiot as you. But he was also incredibly sweet.

‘Chris, that’s not…,’ you shook your head and started again, lifting a palm to his cheek, ‘That was pretty special, I thought. Just as it was. Plus, I came twice tonight, I’m pretty impressed.’

A grin broke out across his face, and he visibly relaxed, ‘Yeah?’

You rolled your eyes in jest, smiling at him, ‘Don’t let it go to your head though. I don’t think I could cope with your ego being any bigger.’

It was only a joke. The very fact he’d felt the need to apologise in the first place showed you how little ego he actually had. 

He lay back down next to you, pulling the sheet up to cover you both and throwing an arm around your middle. You reached out to switch off your bedside lamp and the darkness settled over you.

You closed your eyes, feeling sated and… full. You felt emotionally full in way that you hadn’t for a long time, perhaps never had. 

Into the darkness, Chris all but whispered, ‘I thought it was pretty damn special too. Just as it was.’ 

***

When you awoke the next morning, eyes fluttering open and adjusting to the gauzy morning light, your first image was of Chris smiling gently at you.

‘Hey,’ he ventured, rough and gravelly from sleep.

‘Mornin’. Been awake long? You should have woken me up,’ you offered as apology, still coming around.

‘And miss out on how peaceful and angelic you look when you’re asleep? Even the little bit of snoring couldn’t put me off.’

You managed something between a sleepy laugh and a snort and gently shoved him against his shoulder but Chris caught your hand and pressed your knuckles to his lips. 

‘What a charmer you are,’ you told him, humoured sarcasm dripping from each word.

‘Hmm, I try. Could I interest you in a lazy Sunday morning trip to a deli for some breakfast?’

‘Breakfast? In LA? With me?’

Chris’ brow furrowed as he looked at you like you had sprouted another head.

‘Yes..? That okay?’

‘Yeah, I mean… I just thought - isn’t that too… public?’ 

‘It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you,’ he shrugged as much as he was able lay down.

You gave a nod, ‘Okay then, let’s go,’ you sat up and held out a hand to him, raising an eyebrow in question, ‘Shower with me?’

He sat up next to you with almost comic speed, placing his hand in yours, ‘Lead the way.’ 

***

A slightly-longer-than-intended shower later, you were walking to your local deli with Chris, the morning sun bathing you in a delicate warmth. His arm was slung across your shoulders as you walked and you reached your hand up to intertwine your fingers with his where they trailed next to your collar bone. You could have been any two people in the world, young (ish), happy and carefree, enjoying each others’ company. You looked up at Chris as you walked, admiring his defined features. He noticed you staring and caught your gaze through his sunglasses, sending a beaming smile your way, making your breath catch in your throat. 

‘Hungry?’ he asked.

‘Starving,’ you told him definitively.


	13. Chapter 13

A few weeks later you were still walking on air. Nina had noticed something different about you straight away so you told her a kind-of truth: that you’d had a few really good dates with the ‘Chris-guy’ you were hung up on a couple of weeks ago and things were going well. You weren’t ready to tell her the full extent of it. Nina was one of your best friends but you knew she’d worry about how quickly you had… you didn’t want to say ‘fallen for him’ but you knew it was true and you knew Nina would be concerned. You knew because the concern had crossed your mind more than once too and it bothered you. Plus, there was the whole famous actor thing. You hadn’t really discussed it with Chris, who you could tell and how much you could say. 

Prior to your self-imposed emotional shut down, you had always worn your heart on your sleeve, believing the best in people, and, Nina would tell you, that’s how you got into the mess you did in the first place. It wasn’t that Nina didn’t want you to find ‘the one’, but she had a more… open minded view when it came to matters of the heart. While she believed whole-heartedly that you deserved a good, healthy relationship, you knew she would have reservations about just how quickly you had gone from romantic recluse to day dreaming about the suburbs, a white picket fence and a porch swing. 

Time with Chris always seemed too short. You laughed, you talked, you relaxed, you had fun. You had nice dinners, you walked Dodger hand in hand, you did totally normal date things like bowling and watching old black and white movies at a restored theatre. And, of course, there had been plenty of intimate nights. Sometimes you would just genuinely sleep, falling asleep in each other’s arms and waking up in a sprawling mess, legs tangled and sheets discarded: there was little need for them when you had a human radiator in bed with you. He sent you cute messages and photos through the day when you were at work. You had to shake yourself back to reality more than once in the week and remember that you had a job to do. You needed to not lose sight of yourself. 

It was a Friday afternoon when the flowers arrived at work for you. Jen from reception paraded them through the halls to your classroom and turned up at your door at lunch time with a knowing smirk on her face, struggling a little under the sheer weight of them. 

She was followed quickly by Nina who, having seen the ridiculous bouquet glide past her classroom, followed Jen to see who the recipient was. 

You were speechless as Jen clumsily placed the heavy box down on your desk. Nina’s gaze flickered between you, Jen and the flowers in comic sequence. 

‘Someone was aiming to impress. These are from that really fancy flower boutique in the city,’ Jen finally broke the silence. ‘There’s a card.’

She made no indication that she was going to leave any time soon so clearly she wanted to be there for the card unveiling. You plucked the card from its holder with some trepidation. You had no doubt about who the sender of the flowers was but did he want you opening the card in front of other people? 

You rationalised that he wouldn’t have sent flowers to your work if that was the case so you slid your finger under the edge of the envelope and opened it up. It was short and simple but made you smile nevertheless, despite its ambiguous nature. 

_‘It’s almost the weekend and I was wondering if you’d like to go East tonight?_

_Can’t wait to see you._

_Cx_

_P.S. Check your email.’_

‘Go East?’ Jen asked, mirroring your bemusement, ‘He taking you for Chinese food or something?’ 

You could tell Nina was bursting to talk to you properly about this but didn’t want to with Jen around. You plucked your phone from your handbag and sure enough, you had a new email to your personal address. 

Pressing your email app, you quickly opened the new message as Jen and Nina were passing the card between them. You stilled, frozen with disbelief as you scanned the words.

‘Babe, what is it?’ Nina asked, wary anticipation lacing every word.

You read it again, just to make sure you weren’t seeing things, before finding your voice, ‘It’s a plane ticket. From LAX to… Logan. Leaving late tonight.’

‘Logan? He’s taking you to Boston for the weekend?’ Nina figured it out quickly.

You swallowed hard, ‘Yeah, it’s where he grew up. All his family live there.’

Jen totally missed the anxiety rippling from you but Nina didn’t. As Jen was spilling over with ‘Awwww’ and ‘how romantic!’, Nina was quiet and raised an eyebrow at you. 

‘Is it a special occasion? Anniversary?’ Jen obviously assumed this was a much longer relationship than it actually was, but you didn’t want to correct her with the truth.

‘Yeah… yes, something like that,’ you forced a smile to your lips and she clutched a hand over her heart dramatically.

‘That is so sweet! Flowers, a trip, taking you back to his home town… you’ve got a good one there!’

A bark of a laugh burst from your chest but Jen didn’t need to know that it was a hysterical, panic-ridden laugh rather than a giddy one. 

‘Yeah, yeah, I have.’

‘Well, I better leave you girls to it and get back to work before the boss finds me. Have a great weekend with your man!’ 

Jen finally left but that left you with just Nina and you couldn’t meet her eyes. She pulled a chair across to your desk and sat down, leaning back in indignation and crossing her arms.

‘Spill. Now. Because you’re not bullshitting me with this “we’ve had a few dates and he’s really nice” crap anymore. Hon, you’re barely a month in and he’s taking you across the country for 48 hours. To meet his family!’

You sighed, placing your head in your hands, ‘I know, Nina, I know. It’s escalating. Quickly. And I didn’t tell you because… well I knew you’d worry. Hell, I’m worried.’ 

She shook her head as if she couldn’t believe how deep you’d gotten without her even realising, ‘Listen, I’m so glad you’ve let your guard down and finally, finally decided to let someone in, but when I told you to open yourself up to the possibility of a romance, I didn’t mean fall head over heels in love and be meeting the in-laws four weeks down the line! Who even is this guy?! I mean, what do we actually know about him?’ 

You took another deep breath and considered your options. You could talk to Mackie and Sheletta about this but you knew they were more than a little biased about this whole situation. Letta would hold back more maybe but Mackie would be purchasing his suit for your inevitable wedding as soon as he heard ‘plane tickets to Boston.’ Nina would have a better perspective, you thought, and, importantly, the perspective of someone who didn’t live in the limelight. A lot of things were normal for Chris and Mackie that would be downright bizarre to you and Nina.

A few quick swipes and some typing on your phone and you had what you needed to show Nina. You passed it across wordlessly and she took the handset from you. She gazed at it expectantly for a few second and you waited for the penny to drop. 

Nina’s face was a picture when she finally looked back up at you.

‘You - you’re - this is - he’s -’ 

‘I know,’ you nodded, able to interpret her stop start non-sentences perfectly. 

‘But… he’s an actor! You swore-‘

‘I know, Nina!’ you repeated, trying to communicate that everything she was thinking had already run through your own head many times. ‘And I meant to avoid him - I tried - but he’s… it’s not the same as it was. Before. He knows everything. And I was awful to him Nina, you know that, and he still… I don’t know, he still wants me I guess. He understands.’

Her scrutiny of you was steady and unwavering. Damn her, she was too sharp, knew you too well.

‘Okay then,’ Nina’s words were careful and considered, ‘He’s different, this is different, you can just go on falling for him and there’s no way he’ll pluck your heart out and crush it like Isaac did. So tell me this: why are you freaking out about going to Boston?’

She was right. As much as you tried to kid yourself that you were okay with all of this, that you were comfortable with the depth of feeling you were letting yourself tumble into, you knew you weren’t. You were still scared and anxious and terrified that this was moving far too fast and that you were going to end up heart broken, again. 

‘It’s too quick, isn’t it? It’s too quick. And we’re going to be found out. And then I’m going to be humiliated when he gets bored of me. I feel too much! It’s like the floodgates have just opened and everything I’ve suppressed for years has come to the surface all at once. I’m not going to be able to cope if it all goes wrong, Nina, I’m not,’ the pitch and speed of your voice rose incrementally as all your building fears came spewing out of you.  
  
Nina had moved around the desk to wrap you into a hug, ‘There’s no need to think like that, hon, if you say he’s different, then he is. You would know after all. If you don’t want to go to Boston, just tell him how you feel. If he really cares for you and your feelings, he’ll understand. You need to know where you stand, where he sees this leading to. Boston and family seems to suggest he’s in this for the long term but you need to be sure before it goes any further.’ 

You nodded against her, letting her calm advice soothe you, ‘He does. He does talk about the future. Not in any concrete way but just mentions little things. But it’s only been a short time. What if he changes his mind when the exciting newness of us has all gone?’ 

‘Maybe you should hold off on the family-meeting until you’re more established as a couple? Until you know for sure that there’s definitely long term potential.’

You nodded again. You knew she was right. This all just seemed crazy. It was like something in a movie but you had to be realistic. Life didn’t happen like it did in the movies. 

***

As soon as the final bell for the day sounded loudly in the hall, you were packing your things up. Your students had been dismissed and as soon as enough minutes had passed to make it acceptable for you to leave, you were in your car and heading to Chris’. 

He’d sounded surprised but happy over the intercom when you’d buzzed to let him know you were at his gate and your anxious trembling picked up. 

‘Hey, hey, come in. I’m just getting the last of my packing together. Have you got your stuff in the car? I didn’t expect you this soon actually, did you cut out of work early?’ He was so excited he hadn’t even really taken stock of your subdued attitude. ‘I’m so excited for you to meet my family. You’ll get on really well with Carly, my sister, you’ve got tons in common. And Scott will be there too - he flew out a few days ago - he’ll try and goad you but he’s only kidding I swear and always remember, he’s more interested in making fun of me than you-‘

‘Chris?’ You cut in quietly, but firmly.

He stopped finally and turned with a bashful grin, ‘Sorry baby, I’m just all… nevermind. How was your day?’ He leant down to kiss you but instantly frowned when you turned your head and his lips connected with your cheek instead, ‘Hey, what’s wrong? Everything okay?’

You wanted to throw up.

‘Chris… I… this weekend. It’s just… are we going too fast? I’m… I don’t know if this is the right… if we’re ready for this,’ you averted your eyes, unable to look at him. 

He pulled back from you in surprise.

‘I just thought - well you said at the beginning you… I thought this might prove that I was in this, all in, not just looking for a challenge or whatever,’ his voice was calm, steady, trying to feel out this situation before taking a stance. 

‘I get that, I do, but it’s been barely a month Chris. It’s too quick, for me. It’s too much and what am I going to do if you change your mind in next few weeks? We’re still in that happy, giddy place now but what about when that wears off?’

He was silent but your eye-line was fixed on nothing in particular, just not him. When he spoke, his words had a harder edge to them. 

‘Look at me,’ he asked quietly, and you did as he asked, ‘Is that really what you’re worried about?’

You nodded and Chris closed his eyes like he was trying to keep his patience.

‘You think I’d take you to meet my family if I didn’t think there was at least potential for a future here? You think I care that little for your feelings, or theirs?’ 

You wanted to protest but the words died on your tongue. 

‘I honestly don’t know what more I am supposed to do here. I understand you’ve been hurt, I do, but what more can I do to show you that I’m not going to treat you the same way?’ 

He was almost pleading, his palm flat against his chest, indicating himself. You shrugged, the burning in your eyes threatening tears. He was right, of course, it was you that was all wrong. 

‘You don’t know? No, I suppose you don’t,’ he breathed deeply and shook his head, ‘You don’t even know what it is that you want. You want to be sure I’m not just in this for the challenge or the sex, but you don’t want to do anything that might indicate commitment. You want me to be close, but not too close. You want to have reassurance of a future but then freak out when things start heading that way. You’re so frightened of being hurt that you see potential threats everywhere you look.’

You nodded in anguish, hating that he was correct about it all. 

‘I know, Chris, I know. I’m messed up.’

‘So what do you want? What do you actually want from me?’ 

You couldn’t answer, your throat felt like it was closing up. 

You heard him sigh, defeated and reluctant, ‘Then I guess… I guess you better go home and figure it out and let me know when you’re able whether I still have a girlfriend or not.’ 

Humiliated by your inadequacy and not wanting to stay any longer, you turned quickly, choking back a sob as you ran from the house and all but threw yourself into your car. 

You barely remembered the drive home and when you stopped, you suddenly realised you weren’t at home at all. Feeling weary, you pulled yourself from the driver’s seat and headed up the path to ring the door bell.

‘Sweetheart! What the hell’s happened? Come in, come in,’ Sheletta tugged you by the hand into the Mackie’s home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of trope-mania!

The airport was busy, as one would expect for a Friday night at LAX, people flying here, there and everywhere for the weekend. More than half were probably flying home, just like himself Chris mused as he nursed a bottle of beer and a measure of whiskey in the private lounge. It wasn’t usually his style but the whiskey was needed tonight. 

He couldn’t believe how quickly things had turned. He had honestly thought he was doing the right thing, inviting you back to meet his family. Sure, you hadn’t been officially together for very long but what better way to show you that he was serious about you? And your relationship wasn’t really following a normal trajectory anyway: Chris felt like he knew you better after this short time together than anyone else he had known for years. But the earlier events had proved exactly where his knowledge of you was still lacking. 

He wondered, idly as he picked at the label on his beer bottle, whether he regretted telling you to go home and figure it out. Should he have been more sympathetic? He knew this whole thing was hard for you but he really felt that he’d done more than enough to show you that he was nothing like Isaac. And it was getting to the point where Chris didn’t know how long he could keep this up - how long was he supposed to live being directly compared to that man? 

Now he’d have to go back home, without a girlfriend for the family to meet, and ultimately suffer a weekend of pity looks and questioning. He could lie, he supposed, say something at work had come up at the last minute for you, and his siblings might buy it, but he knew his mother never would. 

The thing was, part of him desperately wanted to call you up, tell you he was sorry and that he was willing to go at your pace for as long as you needed. But therein lay a bigger problem - you didn’t even know what kind of pace you wanted to go at and if you didn’t know, how was Chris supposed to? You needed to figure it out and until then, Chris just had to live in hope. 

He found himself glancing at the door to the lounge every so often, stupidly hoping he’d see you there, bag in hand. But no, he’d be boarding that plane alone, he knew, with an empty seat next to him that you should have been sat in. The minutes ticked away, no calls or messages had appeared on his phone, and it was time to start making his way to the gate. He let the idea of sending you a ‘I’m boarding now, I’ll let you know when I land safely’ message roll around his mind but eventually decided that the ball was in your court and there it needed to stay until you did something about it. You needed to protect yourself, Chris understood, but he was a person with feelings too and he wasn’t immune to having his heart battered. 

He boarded quickly and was shown to his seat. He settled in, letting himself breathe in and out his disappointment. This should have been going so differently now. He needed to prepare for the very real possibility that you wouldn’t come back to him at all, that you would ultimately decide you were holding on to too much hurt and that you weren’t ready for a relationship in any capacity. And Chris would have to accept that. Doing what he did, living the life he did, he wasn’t really in a position to convince you to stay with him. Inevitably, the relationship would be figured out by the media and that would result in a shitstorm of a whole different kind. If you weren’t feeling comfortable and secure in the relationship by then, what you had would never survive the scrutiny, Chris knew. 

Knowing it wouldn’t be long before all the passengers were aboard and the plane would be taxiing the runway, Chris typed out a quick message to his mom, letting her know everything was running on time and he’d see her in a few hours. He dug in his bag for his headphones before shoving it in the overhead locker and sank back down in his chair.

There had been movement in his peripheral vision since he boarded, passengers finding their seats and putting their things in the overhead, and the cabin crew scuttling back and forth, helping where needed. But as he scrolled through his music collection on his phone to find something that suited his mood, a voice was quiet but clear next to him.

‘I, uh, is this seat taken?’ 

His head shot up instantly at the sound, and there you were, standing before him, bag in hand, looking wary but hopeful. 

***

He was surprised, you knew, and maybe that’s why he was saying nothing but his silence was making your anxiety spike. 

‘Is it… is it okay that I’m here?’ you asked with trepidation, suddenly wondering what you would do if he said no.

Luckily, that question seemed to spur him into action. 

‘What? Yeah! Yes, of course it is, here let me…’

He got up to take the bigger of your two bags, a moderately sized rucksack that you were, honestly, a little embarrassed about - it was definitely a survivor from the teen years but there hadn’t been time to think about it too much - and placed it in the overhead. You awkwardly stood in the aisle waiting for him to sit back down when he motioned for you to get in first.

‘So you can see the lights when we land. It’s pretty,’ he explained. 

Once you were both in your seats, Chris turned to you.

‘I didn’t expect you to be here, tonight.’

‘Me neither, really,’ you admitted, ‘But I knew that if I didn’t, I’d be turning my back on the most special thing that’s happened to me in years. I just used the e-ticket you sent me.’

‘Sweetheart, if this isn’t right, don’t force yourself. I didn’t mean to give you an ultimatum.’

‘No, it’s not that,’ you shook your head emphatically, ‘I need to be here, for me more than anything. I have to, have to, let go of the past. You were right: I don’t know what I want half the time, I’m scared, I contradict myself, and yes, I’m way more of a hypocrite than I would like to admit, but I am absolutely certain that I want you in my life. And that means I need to get out of my comfort zone for a bit, do the things that make me a little anxious, because at the end of it all, it’s you that I’m doing it with and so I have to trust that I’ll be okay. But I also need to accept that relationships - that love - is a risk, no matter who it is with. I’m willing to run that risk though, to be with you.’

Chris gripped your hand in his, nodding along with everything you said. He was beaming, ‘I’m just so glad you’re here.’ 

‘I’m sorry. About before. It just felt sudden and I didn’t see it coming but Sheletta gave me some perspective.’

‘You went to see Mackie?’ It wasn’t accusatory, just intrigued. 

‘No, Mackie was out with the kids. Sheletta knows me but she also knows you. She’s not always been your biggest fan, you know that?’ You raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk.

‘Yeah I know,’ Chris grinned fondly, ‘She’s a tough nut to crack. I think she thought I was leading Mackie astray at first, but now she just thinks I’m a big puppy dog in need of a woman to take care of me.’ 

‘Hmm, I think she might be right.’

‘Yeah, you up to the task?’ It was his turn to raise an eyebrow.

‘I’ll give it my best shot,’ you squeezed his hand in yours, leaning against his shoulder. You felt him press his lips against the top of your head as the plane began to move and the captain’s voice was heard over the speakers, giving the passengers information about the flight and the weather and the likely landing time.

Sheletta had been sensitive but firm when you told her the reason for your frantic state when you arrived on her doorstep. She was in total contrast to Nina and, dare you say it, probably a little more sensible. Where you thought Nina had been a good confidante about the whole thing, you realised she was the same as you. She, too, had lived in LA for years, had lived on periphery of the crazy Hollywood life just as you had, but she was a ‘civilian’ as well, her views were just as tainted as yours, all things considered. So where Nina assumed someone like Chris would rip a girl’s heart out and stamp all over it, Sheletta was more balanced.

‘Honey, you have got to stop this, once and for all,’ she took your hands in hers, peering into your face intently so that you could feel the full weight of her words, using a voice that sounded suspiciously like the one she used on her kids when they were doing something stupid, ‘I’m going to be honest with you now, and you need to listen. Yes, this could all go wrong. Yes, you might get hurt again. Yes, you could wind up feeling rejected and upset. But so can anyone. In any relationship. When we put our trust in another person, we run a risk. We trust them not to hurt us, we trust them to have our best interests at heart. But, ultimately, we’re all human, we all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes end up hurting those closest to us. That doesn’t mean, however, that we just avoid everyone for our whole lives. You are running a risk with Chris, but he’s running a risk with you too, and do you not think he’s hurting right this second? Do you not think that you might have been responsible for that?’

She gave you that tilted glance that told you her questions were rhetorical, that it was useless to argue with her, not that you could have anyway: she was right. The crushing realisation that you had the power to hurt just as much as Chris did hit you hard. You had spent so long being a victim, you failed to realise you could be a perpetrator as well. 

‘Oh Letta, I’m so stupid. What have I done?’ 

She gathered you into her arms and held you for a few moments in that comforting way that mothers seem to be able to do instinctively before pushing you out at arm’s length. 

‘Forget that now. Just focus on what you can do, here in the present.’

It was less than five minutes later you were in your car heading back to your apartment. You threw the bare essentials into a backpack and headed straight for LAX, figuring you’d sort out parking for the weekend when you got there. The important thing was to get there in the first place, and be on that plane before it left. 

And that was how you ended up in the window seat, next to Chris, taking in the lights of Logan as the plane made its descent. 

There was no turning back now, but it was time to stop living a half life. You would always have the friends you considered family - Nina would always be there, Mackie and Sheletta had your back forever, you knew - but now was your chance to have someone that was just yours, that you could share your life with, that wanted to make you happy. He was sweet and patient, but he wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit, and that was important for someone who had been hiding behind the victim shield for far too long. 

***

You’d arrived at Chris’ mom’s house really late and you’d raised your concern about it being rude to disturb the house at this hour with Chris as he drove you through Boston on a well rehearsed route from the airport in the car he had rented.

‘Nah, she’ll be awake, don’t worry. It takes me a little while to wind down after the flight so she’s usually got a grilled cheese and a tea ready to go when I get in. She’ll go on up to bed once she’s seen me in the flesh,’ he explained. He seemed a little bashful, embarrassed maybe that he was still looked after so much by his mom.

‘You _are_ a little momma’s boy, aren’t you?’ you teased him.

He simply flashed you a grin, the intermittent streetlights lighting his features up softly as he drove through the night, ‘Always.’ 

‘That’s cute. Will she give me a hard time, the interloper making moves on her boy,’ you grinned back.

He threaded his fingers in yours across the arm rest between your chairs.

‘No way, she’s probably already decided she loves you like her own daughter, and she’s only seen a picture.’

‘You sent her a picture of me?’ You don’t know why that surprised you as much as it did. You supposed you hadn’t really thought about Chris discussing you with his mom when you weren’t there.

‘Of us. An adorable selfie, of course. She said you were beautiful.’

‘I’m nervous,’ you admitted.

‘I know,’ Chris said softly, ‘But there’s really nothing to be nervous about. It’ll just be a chilled weekend, as long as Scott behaves himself.’

‘What did you tell your mom about me?’ you couldn’t help but be curious. 

‘Honestly? I told her that I’d met this infuriating and massively hypocritical woman who was driving me crazy and verbally kicked my ass every time I saw her,’ he paused to laugh when you half-shouted, half-whined ‘Chriiiiiiisss’ at him, ‘At the beginning, of course. And, because I am a walking cliche, she knew I was into you before I did. More recently, though, I’ve told her how beautiful you are, how much your smile brightens my day, how strong you are but how you still need a bit of TLC and how there’s something about you that just makes me want to be that person for you.’ 

His thumb stroked the back of your hand where they were clasped together, as tears threatened to blur your vision. 

***

Much, much later, after a welcome hug and a grilled cheese sandwich from Chris’ ‘call-me-Lisa’ mom, you were curled around your boyfriend in his bed. It was his old room, he’d explained, but his mom had ‘guest-ified’ it slightly, made it less of a teenager’s den and more suitable for family to stay over in. 

You hadn’t quite lay down yet and you were making out, propped against a mountain of pillows, your legs across Chris’ lap, his fingers drawing lazy circles on the back of your thigh, tickling the sensitive bit just under your butt, the long tshirt you brought to sleep in pretty useless at covering your lower body when Chris’ hands were around. You were both lethargic given the late hour and the small time difference and the night was pitch black and silent around you.

The emotion of day caught up with you and suddenly all you wanted was to be as close to Chris as you could possibly get. You deepened the kiss a little, applying a little more pressure, running a hand up his bare torso, over his collar bone, around the back of his neck and thread your fingers through the short hair at the nape. You pulled yourself even further into his body, grinding your hips slightly against him and feeling his body respond in kind. 

‘Baby…’ he whispered against your lips, fingers on your thigh trailing into dangerous territory. You thought for a minute he was going to tell you to stop, not in his mom’s house. For a beat, there was no sound but the hammering of your heart in your own ears and the slightly quickened pace of your breathing, and then he gave you the green light, ‘Can you be quiet?’

‘Mmhmm,’ you nodded affirmatively, despite the darkness.

‘Good,’ was his only reply before his lips were back on yours and his fingertips were toying with the hem of your underwear. Before you knew it, you were straddling him, sitting in his lap, chests and mouths pressed together. You could feel smooth palms running over the skin of your back under your tshirt, gliding to your front and a teasing thumb drifting over a nipple. 

Your hips ground against his, almost of their own accord, as you focused on kissing his mouth, his jaw, his neck, his chest. You lay all your remaining apology on his body. So absorbed by your task, you barely noticed his fingers drifting over your underwear until he grazed your clit through the soft material, the sudden sensation causing you to buck against him, a gasp drawn from your throat which was quickly swallowed by his kiss. 

Shifting back on his legs a little, You toyed with the waistband of his boxers, enjoying the way you could snap it lightly against the solid plane of his abs before dragging it down as far you could with him in his seated position and untucking his dick from behind the fabric. 

He was still stroking you through your underwear, your straddling position giving him easy access to your heat and you repaid the favour, adopting a gentle but firm grip around his cock, thumb playing with the tip and stroking him lightly as you teased each other with foreplay. 

When you felt him push the lace of your underwear aside, felt cool air contrasting to the delicious warmth he had been nurturing within you, you were ready to feel him inside you. 

Lifting up momentarily on your knees and aligning him with your entrance, you sank down, taking him inside you in one smooth movement. It was all you could do to swallow the sounds of pleasure you so desperately wanted to make and pressed your mouth to his so they would be muffled by his tongue. You gave yourself a second, relishing the stretch and the feel of him before lifting your hips up and down, gently and carefully at first so as not to make too much noise but quickly abandoning control in favour of chasing your orgasm. 

He held you tightly around your hips, bouncing you in synchronisation with your own rhythm, urging you on as you slid against and in and out of each other. You braced your hands against his shoulders, applying pressure to propel yourself upwards as his kisses you everywhere he could reach: your neck, below your ear, dipping his head to swirl his tongue around each nipple. 

You kept your rhythm, speeding up slightly as you felt the coil tighten low in your belly and he must have felt it too because his arms were suddenly around your back, forearms supporting you with his hands against your shoulder blades, pulling you into him even more. 

‘Keep going baby, you feel so good,’ his words of encouragement were strained and gravelly and you knew he must be close.

‘Chris… I need…’ your whisper was desperate as you tried to vocalise where you needed to be touched.

‘I got you,’ he promised, and make a sudden jerking movement to shift his hips further down the mattress under you, the result being that whenever you ground against him there was direct pressure on your clit. The new angle heightened all that feeling and it wasn’t long before you were unravelling against him, foreheads pressed together and remembering to stay quiet, your internal muscles contracting and releasing as he jerked up into you once, twice more and stilled, releasing everything he had into you, cock twitching within your sensitive walls. 

You slumped against his chest, head in the crook of his neck, trying to recover your breathing. His lips were pressing against your forehead in light kisses and he reached behind you to brush your hair away from your face and let it fall to one side. 

‘Chris…’ you breathed, unsure of what it was that you really wanted to say, but he seemed to get you.

‘I know, it’s intense.’ 

He wound one arm around your waist and flipped both to the side, pulling you down to the mattress and slipping from within you as you laid your head against the pillow. You felt him reach down to pull his boxers back up to their rightful place and then hauled one of your knees over his hip, tucking your body into and around his. 

You placed a hand against his cheek, thumb running over his cheekbone softly as you spoke into the hush of the night.

‘You’re doing a great job of making me fall for you, you know,’ you admitted.

He was quiet for a moment and when he replied, you could hear the smile in his voice.

‘I figured as much when you flipped out on me before. I’ll let you in on a secret,’ he lowered his voice even further to a full whisper, ‘This was my plan all along. I’ve been falling for you since you called me a dumb jock.’ 

You laughed as silently as you could manage and lightly slapped a palm against his chest, ‘I never knew I could have such an effect while so angry.’ 

‘Hmm, all that indignation and frustration… so attractive,’ he joked with you, keeping it light so that you didn’t sink under the weight of your earlier admission. 

The overwhelming urge to sleep overtook you suddenly and you felt yourself drifting off in Chris’ arms. You might have dreamt it when you heard the words ‘I love you’ rumbling through Chris’ chest, or they might have been real, but as you let sleep wash over you, you felt like you’d okay with it soon, either way.


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely the end! Thanks for reading :)

‘Oh hey Chris!’ Jen, one of the school’s receptionists, greeted Chris with her usual enthusiasm. He was used to it now but her bright, over wide smile amused him each time nonetheless.

‘Hi Jen, she in?’ He indicated with his thumb in the vague direction of your classroom, ‘Okay if I head on through?’

‘Of course, waiting for you as usual. But Chris, you know I can’t let you go through without an escort. This is a school! Sign in here please and I’ll get you a lanyard.’

‘Jen… it’s five thirty on a Friday evening, there are no students here now,’ he smiled knowingly. It was a game they played each and every time Chris popped in to pick you up on a Friday. 

Jen held her hands up, unwilling to budge, ‘School policy, sorry. Sign in and I’ll take you down.’ 

He did as he was told and Jen buzzed him through the security lock door. She made small talk as she strolled, a little slowly, down the corridor. Chris tried to pay attention, he really did, but he was antsy about the weekend. He stopped listening to Jen entirely once he reached your door and spied you at your desk, hair in a messy bun on top of your head and glasses on as you graded papers. He knew this was a look you adopted only once the students had left, when you were trying to get into the zone and be extra productive. 

‘Hey beautiful, how you getting on?’

You heard the unmistakable voice, pulling you from your work. The responding smile formed on your face before your eyes had even met his, approaching you from across the classroom. 

‘Almost done and then I’m all yours.’ 

‘Music to my ears,’ he replied, arching over your desk in an invitation for a kiss. You craned your neck up to meet him, ‘Plus, Dodger’s in the car and I don’t want to leave him there too long.’

Jen still hovered behind Chris and made a silent swooning motion, dropping her knees slightly and pressing a hand to her forehead before making to leave and you laughed. 

‘Thanks Jen, have a nice weekend!’

‘You too, lovebirds!’

You and Chris smiled at each other, the kind of smile that was relaxed and content and looking forward to a weekend together. 

You finished up the papers you were grading while Chris mooched about in your room, taking turns between looking at your displays and playing on his phone, trying to be patient. You finished the last one with a flourish and closed your laptop before picking up your purse. 

‘Okay handsome, we’re good to go!’ 

***

Chris was being really cagey in the car and it was making you a little nervous. It had been almost a year now and you were… settled. You didn’t mean that in the way it initially sounded - there was nothing boring about your relationship - but your confidence in the relationship had grown and grown and you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Chris loved you, and you loved him. 

Having said that, you wanted to know why Chris was so on edge. As you leaned through to the back seat to say hello to Dodger with some affectionate touches, the thought occurred that he could be planning on… but no, surely not? You had a much healthier approach to relationships now, it was true, but you weren’t sure if you were ready for a ring and an engagement. You decided to use the car journey to try and feel out your thoughts. If this was his plan, you wanted to be ready and you wanted to have time to figure it out before he popped the question. 

Before you knew it, the car came to a halt outside your apartment and you blinked a little in surprise. You normally went straight to Chris’ after work on a Friday and either stayed in, went out for dinner or, of course, to Mackie and Sheletta’s. Mackie has basically spent the best part of your relationship demanding thanks for getting the two of you together in the first place. Sheletta was more controlled about it. She was happy to see you happy and you were fairly sure Chris was under no illusions about what she would do to him if he ever messed you about.

‘My place?’

‘Yeah, I need you to pack a few things. Hiking gear mainly,’ he grinned at you.

‘Oh! Okay! You waiting here? I’ll be quick.’

Chris had kept to his word about hiking. He really did want to pursue it as a hobby, so when he was able to, he’d join you on hikes and fortunately, none were quite as traumatic an experience as the first time you’d hiked together. The great thing about him travelling the world was that occasionally you got to join him and could hike in countries you’d never even dreamed you go to.

But a surprise hiking trip was new for him. He normally let you do the planning, considering you the expert, but really, he knew what he was doing now, so while he hadn’t planned one before, you didn’t doubt him for a second. Apart from maybe you’d just double check the weather while packing - just so you’d know what items to take.

You packed all your necessities and a few non-necessities, should the occasion arise for them. Some lacy, silk garments that were definitely not for hiking in. As you packed, you could feel yourself mentally talking yourself into not freaking out, into being okay with getting proposed to, into not drawing to mind the first engagement you had. 

You threw your bag into the trunk and climbed back into the passenger seat.

‘Got everything?’

‘I’m good, let’s go. You’ve got me intrigued Christopher!’

Chris held your gaze for a moment and you knew he was waiting to say something.

‘What?!’ You asked, feeling self-conscious.

‘Ten months ago, there’s no way you would have just let me take you somewhere without knowing the plans in advance. And look at you now, going with the flow, letting me take the lead on a hiking trip.’

You tilted your head as you processed his words, ‘I think that counts as personal development, right? Although, if I’m being honest, I did check the weather upstairs.’

‘I’ll accept that as your one element of being in control but only because you needed to look at it yourself to know what to pack. But yes, I did also check the weather, what do you take me for? An amateur?

He pulled out into traffic and you were on your way. 

***

An hour and a half later, Chris was turning off the main road on to something little more than a track; two deep grooves running through the forest bed, worn down by tyres previous. There had been forest on either side of you for miles and the track wound through the trees, deeper and deeper into the dense woodland. 

The sun was setting when Chris slowed to a stop in front a modern, but understated cabin. The outside was wood panelling, so it was sympathetic to its surroundings, but the lines were clean and straight. Beyond the cabin, you could see the trees opening up to make way for a beautiful lake, the orange sun reflecting off its mirrored surface. 

‘This ours for the weekend?’ You asked, excitement weaving through your words.

‘Yeah, like it?’

‘It’s beautiful, and what a moment to arrive, with the sun just setting over the lake.’

‘Want to get out and have an explore before it goes dark?’

You nodded eagerly and the three of you hopped from the car, Dodger weaving his way through the gap between the front seats to jump from the driver’s side door, following his master loyally. 

Not wanting to miss the sunset, you walked to the back of the cabin, overlooking the lake, and found a small veranda with none other than a porch swing. You immediately sat down, Chris next to you and winding an arm around your shoulders, planting an affectionate kiss to the top of your head when you curled your body into his.

‘This is adorable. Porch swings immediately add like 100 points of adorableness,’ you told him as the sun started to creep behind the trees that surrounded the opposite side of the lake.

‘Like it? Did I pick well?’ 

‘You did, and I’ve not even seen inside yet. It wouldn’t matter, this view is IT.’ 

‘Good, because I have a confession to make.’

You were immediately wary, hoisting your head up to look him in the face.

‘What did you do…?’ There was amusement in your voice, knowing it couldn’t be anything too terrible, but there was still a tiny little knot of anxiety in the pit of your stomach.

‘Well, for a few weeks now, I’ve been thinking about… well, I was wondering whether…’

You were tense now. What if this was it? What were you going to say? You didn’t want to disappoint him. 

‘Chris, out with it please, you’re making me nervous.’

‘I just thought maybe we could start thinking about moving in together? You know, my place or finding somewhere new?’

You instantly relaxed, not realising just how much you’d been trying to keep your anxiety under control.

‘But then I thought that might be too big of a step all in one go. So, as a compromise, I wondered if you wanted to share this place with me?’

He waited for you to realise what he was asking but you were confused.

‘Well, yeah, I figured as much… we’re staying the weekend, right?’

‘We stay as many weekends as we want. It’s mine. Ours, if you want to,’ he looked earlier than you felt, you thought. He was worried about pushing you too far.

‘You bought this place?!’ You were amazed. 

‘Yeah,’ he brought a bashful hand up to rub the back of his neck, ‘Yeah, I mean, the location is great - we’ve got a couple of neighbours dotted about around the lake for far enough away that we feel we’ve got our own space, the nearest town is only five minutes drive away for supplies, there are hiking trails for tens of miles all around, there’s boating on the lake… is it too much? It is, isn’t it?’

You wanted to put his concern to rest. 

‘No Chris, it’s… it’s just perfect,’ you told him honestly, ‘And you want me to share it?’

‘Yeah, I thought we could both move some of our stuff in, you know, keep it stocked and have our gear and some essentials here so we can just drop everything and come down whenever we feel like, rather than packing each time we want to go. And we can decorate and furnish it however we like. Make it a home away from home. But you can still go back to your own place at the end.’

He was the only person you’d ever known who managed to find the absolutely right solutions to everything. This was just what you needed. Baby steps every time, giving you parameters you were comfortable with. 

You stretched your neck up to kiss him, trying to pour all your gratitude and joy into it. You pulled back with a beaming smile. 

‘We can keep the porch swing though, right?’

‘Yeah baby, whatever you want. So you’ll do it? You want to live here, with me, for several short bursts of time in the year?’

‘Absolutely, I’d love nothing more,’ you nodded emphatically.

Chris stood up then, yanking you up by your arm in the same smooth motion, before sweeping an arm under your knees and behind your back and scooping you up bridal-style.

‘Well then, let me carry you across the threshold.’ 

You laughed as he carried you and it was so clear in the twilight, you were sure the tinkling sound you made echoed across the lake. Dodger bounced excitedly around Chris’ feet all the way to the front door and Chris paused while he fumbled with the key, trying desperately to keep hold of you at the same time. As you heard the tell tale click of the lock opening, you had something you wanted to say.

‘Ask me about moving in again in a couple more months, okay?’ You told Chris in a soft voice, simultaneously thanking him for his patience and sensitivity but also wanting him to be sure that you were trying too.

‘I’ll mark it on my calendar,’ he grinned down at you, pressing his lips to yours before inching forward. 

Chris swung the door open and stepped through, and there you both were, passing another milestone together.


End file.
